Opinion kids yes or no?
 

Okay the wife says she wants kids I am still on the fence about it. My question to all you guys out there is if you had to do it over would you have kids? And seriously pros and cons. And GO!!!

I never felt it was my duty to add to the gene pool, so I opted out and seeing what my friends who have children had to deal with I am glad I opted out especially when the children hit their teens.....

Having kids is a full time job with overtime. If you are on the fence, I would suggest that you don't. Having kids is not like buying a bad tool where you can return it for a refund or exchange. It isn't like a car where you can sell it off. Once you start, you are committed. No ands, buts or ifs. If you can't be 100% sure, DON'T.

The wife and I weren't sure either. We decided not to. Actually, she didn't want them and I wasn't positive either way. Sure, it was a nice thought as far as having kids but having seen the work that went in made us decide not to. I mean, you can't simply look at all the good times. There will be plenty of bad times. Some of them may not even be your fault or something you can do.

My wife and I were 40 when she delivered our first and only kid. We spent plenty of time enjoying ourselves and, basically, being selfish. I thought my life was full before. I had no idea what I was missing.

My mind tends to focus on this metaphor: My life before my kid was like shooting pool before I learned about english. I liked the game and could make shots, but english opened up a whole new world of abilities for me.

Our only regret is we waited so long to start. We tried to make another kid, but it just wasn't meant to be.

It changes every aspect of your life and makes you have different priorities.

If I had it to do over, I'd do it sooner. It's a TON of work, but something that you can't quite explain unless you've been there. I always thought that was BS until I became a parent.

Anything with great benefits and rewards, requires great effort. I was scared about having kids, but knew I wanted them. Be prepared to give everything of yourself to make sure they have the best start in life you're capable of giving them.

Couldn't be better said.

I'd have to agree that people that "Decide not to".....that's basically just a selfish decision. I mean, why give up your own time to someone else?

I'm only 22...my wife and I do plan to have children. And we'll be younger than 30 when we do, that is for sure.

It's the most satisfying thing a person can do, if done correctly. That covers making them. Afterwards, they can be a real pain in the ass.

One thing I wasn't expecting when we decided to have kids, was the way it changed my relationship with my wife. She's been my best friend since years before our marriage, but sharing the miracle of our children's births and watching them develop has brought us even closer.:)

Only if you enjoy kids and having them all day long. We did the "Big Couple" thing with a "Lil Sister". At the end of 6 years, I think we were glad it was over. The experience didn't live up to the hype. Of course, maybe it was because I didn't enjoy teaching things or it could be that she ended up as an ungrateful ***** to both us and her mother. Don't know which. But if parenting has a possibility of that, added to the fact that while we like them for a few hours and not all day long, it just doesn't add up for us in the long run.

That's admirable that you and your wife did that Aklim. I'd be afraid to jump into a parenting situation years into the child's development.

Having a child from birth allows you to develop as a parent as the child develops into an individual. On the job training.:thumbsup:

Well, if you don't enjoy kids and there is plenty of sweat and tears, where is the payoff? The payoff is only if you enjoy kids enough to want to give one thing for another. Kinda like the S-Class in the dealership window. Do I like it enough to give up my other entertainments, luxuries, etc, etc? If so, I purchase it. If not, I don't.

Even though I don't have my own kids, I agree with what the others have said about the rewards and trials. Looking back on my own life and that of my friends and family, I've determined that the best age range to get married and/or have kids is around 28-30.

You're old enough to have gotten most of the ya-ya's out of your system and you're still young enough to have the energy to take care of the little ones.

I see many of my friends who had kids in their early 20's are quietly (or more vocally) resentful of the loss of freedom during those years.

I had those thoughts with both my kids right up until I snipped their cords. Once I saw them, I knew I would be able to sacrifice everything needed for them.

I agree that some people just don't have that in them though.

Coming from a kid (well more recently being a kid than you guys), it was cool having a stay at home mom (or dad (for you Chad)).


It kept me out of trouble, and always kept me focused (and on track).

Actually, that is much easier. As a babysitter instructor for the Red Cross, the wife would tell the 14yo kids NOT TO babysit for infants. They are way too much for them till they get much older. I have spent some time with the wife's charges. One of them in particular was wonderful. He was 5 and didn't have all the vocabulary but he did speak like a grown up teenager. He had highly advanced thought processes for his age. Much less of a burden than when he was a squirming infant and way more fun.

Even with my dogs, I never cared for the puppy stages. I always wanted them out of it ASAP. I bonded more with my dogs AFTER they grew up and had their own personalities. Just like with a virgin girl, I hate the teaching part. I rather have a grown up girl in her 30s at the very least where she knows what she wants and is able to do things.