Cash for Clunkers Rewards Idiots

[alamostation]

Like most recent federal programs in the US, Cash for Clunkers rewards people who made stupid decisions at the expense of the wise.

If you want to buy a new car and take advantage of the program, look at your past purchase:

In 1988, you bought a Honda Accord for $13,000. It has given 21 years of dependable service and has 220.000 miles. Sorry Charlie, you are out of luck, it gets over 18 MPG.

In 1983, you bought a 300SD for $35,000 and ran it for 450,000 miles. It is now having problems. Sorry Charlie, it over 25 years old.

Thirteen months ago, you bought a 1990 Dodge crewcab pickup with a bent frame for $700. Step up to the plate Bucko, your ship has come in. You get around $4000 from the fed for a new car. Buy an econobox and you can get a new car for $6K.

Three years ago, you bought a 1999 Lincoln for $8000. Being an idiot, you never checked the oil or had it changed. Last week the engine froze up. The mechanic said it wasn't worth towing. Come and get your love.

In 1991, you had your choice between a Chevy Blazer that got 19 MPG or a Dodge Ramcharger that got 17 MPG. Sorry Charlie, you are screwed, but the guy who bought the Ramcharger, he's getting $4000 for his trade-in.

Who thought up this crap?