DIVORCE
 

DIVORCE AGREEMENT


**************************

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.... I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide our allies security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, “I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,� “Kum Ba Ya� or “We Are the World.�

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Barbara Streisand, Johnny Depp,
Jane Fonda with you.

P. P. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

I am betting this thread will get locked down.

Sorry Jim!

Oh were it so easy !

WE do want fonda though, she still needs to be tried for treason.
"aiding and abetting the enemy''

What a load of horse poop.

Apparently, it stings when you're not the "party in power."

Dear Right Wing Nut Jobs,

Bend over and stick it where the sun don't shine. You had your chance at governing and screwed up big time.

In reference to post #2. I’d say that this would be a good time for said lock down of the thread.

After all. What better way to end this thread than with post #6 ?!

:D

Locked down? What are you frightened of ? What, no free speech either.

Besides ..... 'taint wrong if it's accurate and the truth. I don't see anything in the above that's not true . Everyone entitled to their opinion. Not politically correct don't mean it a'int so....etc, etc, etc,etc, blah blah blah.....:D

Frightened of? Nothing on this forum, anyway.
And I’m all for free speech.

I just got a kick out of his post (#6) and if you don’t think this could quickly turn into a locked thread, then maybe there isn’t anymore room where the sun don’t shine. :D

At the time, I just didn’t want to haul off and call anyone a rightwing nut job and to stick anything up their _ _ _. My free speech opinion was that post #6 made for a good last word. That's all.

Nope - 'taint wrong if it's accurate and the truth so long as you see it that way.
It’s when you don’t, that the thread turns into a bunch of blah blah blah..... as you put it.

Accurate and the truth?
So tell me – Where would a gun owning, hunter, CHL holding, 3500 truck driving, Texas land owning, mineral right royalty collecting, gas well permitting, LIBERAL redneck like myself fall into this divorce agreement ?

;) :D

Opinions vary but in fact there is remarkable synergy between states. Just because lifestyles vary from one region to another doesn't mean that there isn't coorperation across state lines.

Take the issue of taxes for example. Minnesota would love to get back a dollar for each dollar it contributes to the Federal tax base. The reality is that the state gets back $0.90 on the dollar. But it also realizes that the infrastructure required to benefit from the vast agricultural resources of the Southern states isn't free. In return, Minnesota is the world's largest processer of pickled herring and lutefisk in the world.

It's just give and take. Why split?

LOL. Great post. There's a few of us in no man's land.

I just got rid of my '08 Subaru Outback "partial zero emssions wehicle" (PZEV) station wagon and now I got this new Mercury Grand Marquis LS.

Do you love me now?

So what you want to do is band up all the right wing welfare states (except Texas) as the Red States of America. Thus leaving all of the Blue donor states to band together as the Blue states of America. As a taxpaying citizen of the Blue states, I wish you good luck and Gods speed.

PS If you need any help in facilatating this please let us know. Anything you need money, votes and time would be forthcoming.

I love your trade so, yes, I love you man lol

Anyone who I feel will run over to Peju Province to pick up my wine order, I will always love.;) No matter what they drive. :D