Rant thread... I hate being away from home - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

LUVMBDiesels · #1 09-11-2010, 08:53 PM

Some of you might know that I have been in New Orleans the past month and a half. Well my worst fear came true today. I got a call from a nurse at the hospital where my wife works telling me she had fainted and was taken on a gurney to the Emergency Room! I totally freaked out waiting for news.
They THINK it might be some medications she was taking interacting, but they diagnosed it as vertigo and sent her home after 8 hours in the ED.

I realize I cannot be 1100 miles away from the one I love and I hate this separation. If there had really been a problem (she has had a heart murmur from birth) I would have not been able to get there to be by her side.
I need to get out of here and I will tell my boss this on Monday.

To everyone out there - never take a day with your love for granted. Especially on 9/11 remember how fragile life is and how short or time could be here on Earth and just LOVE EACH OTHER.

If you are with your wife or husband give them a hug and a kiss for me.

Joe

jplinville · #2 09-11-2010, 11:41 PM

My wife said thanks! She said you sound alot like me.

I spent over 2 months in Ohio earlier this year, caring for a sick family member...1700 miles away from my wife. I can fully understand your predicament...I live 1700 miles away from my kids.

MS Fowler · #3 09-12-2010, 06:25 AM

Thanks for posting that incident; you added to a personal evaluation I have been entertaining for a while.
For the past few months, I have been working with Pipeliners--they guys ( and gals) who build the big steel pipelines that carry the petroleum products and natural gas across this country.
They are an interesting breed. Their job requires them to spend months away from home at a time. They do it, mostly, for one reason only---to earn money. They are well paid for their efforts, laborers start out at a little over $20/hr, and the wages go up from there. Weldors are the highest skill, and best paid. My guess is that a lot of these people earn upwards of $100,000/yr; some of them 2-3 times that.
But for all that money, they have to operate 2 households--one back home, and one wherever they are. They work long hours with few days off. On this particular job they were limited to a standard 10 hour workday, 6 days a week; some complained that they were losing money at that--they prefer 70-80+ hours. The State of MD refused them permission to work on or near State highways over holidays, so they were forced to take 4 days off for Memorial Day and 4th of July--lots a grumbling about that, too. But they are away from home only to earn money.
I even considered going on the road with them after this job is done. However, as I look at their lives, and the sacrifices they make, I don't think I want to make those same choices. Money isn't everything--Having a home to go home to at night, a loving spouse nearby to share in the daily episodes of life are worth something too.

As much as the pipeline people get paid, they earn every cent of it.

t walgamuth · #4 09-12-2010, 06:41 AM

Living far away from your spouse for work purposes is nothing I would willingly choose, though I considered it before finding my job with Purdue.

People do though.

I wish you the best in whatever you end up doing, and hope your Mrs. is fine.

Tom

LUVMBDiesels · #5 09-12-2010, 06:43 AM

Yeah it takes a lot to do that kind of work. This is the first time I have been away for more than a week or so...
I was OK being down here, missing her of course, but multiple phone calls and emails, etc helped with that. However, it took this incident to make me realize how crazy being this far away is. It is like everything I ever said about you never being alone, we are a team, and we will get through anything together was bull*****. Just words. When she needs me I am nowhere to be found.
It is a horrible feeling.

She is still not feeling well and has called off from work today. If you knew her you would know that she NEVER calls off from a shift. She takes nursing seriously and always gets there and gets the job done, giving 1000% and going way above and beyond the call.

Her calling off scares me more than anything...

MTUpower · #6 09-12-2010, 11:13 AM

I'm gone from home nearly 6 months a year, with trips back every 4-6 weeks. It's the toughest part of life being away from my family.

#7 09-12-2010, 11:17 AM

I spend about 40% of my time traveling, usually a week or two at a time. From a work point of view, I definitely like to have a change of scenery (I would go crazy having to show up at the same office every day). From a personal point of view, it's tough to be away from home that much. The upside is that I don't have to relocate the family every few years as work opportunities move.

ramonajim · #8 09-12-2010, 02:56 PM

Joe, I feel your pain. While Darling Wife and I were still in California, I had to go to Germany for work. While there, she got sick - in a state she'd just moved to, health insurance she didn't know well, and no doctor she'd seen. Hate, Hate, Hated not being there.

Sounds like your wife is a strong one - take some measure of comfort in knowing she'll take care of herself when you can't be there to do it for her.

Hang in there and hurry home when you can.

LUVMBDiesels · #9 09-12-2010, 04:08 PM

Thanks guys!

She is still weak and sleepy today and she already called off work for tomorrow! That has never happened before. BUT she is going to the MD so I am hoping for the best. I am thinking it might e a drug interaction thing (she was on three different things and she has a very low tolerance for anything) but they are going to check her thyroid as well...

Thanks for letting me rant a bit. I am going nuts here and feeling pretty damn useless...

Joe

Skid Row Joe · #10 09-12-2010, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MS Fowler

Thanks for posting that incident; you added to a personal evaluation I have been entertaining for a while.
For the past few months, I have been working with Pipeliners--they guys ( and gals) who build the big steel pipelines that carry the petroleum products and natural gas across this country.
They are an interesting breed. Their job requires them to spend months away from home at a time. They do it, mostly, for one reason only---to earn money. They are well paid for their efforts, laborers start out at a little over $20/hr, and the wages go up from there. Weldors are the highest skill, and best paid. My guess is that a lot of these people earn upwards of $100,000/yr; some of them 2-3 times that.
But for all that money, they have to operate 2 households--one back home, and one wherever they are. They work long hours with few days off. On this particular job they were limited to a standard 10 hour workday, 6 days a week; some complained that they were losing money at that--they prefer 70-80+ hours. The State of MD refused them permission to work on or near State highways over holidays, so they were forced to take 4 days off for Memorial Day and 4th of July--lots a grumbling about that, too. But they are away from home only to earn money.
I even considered going on the road with them after this job is done. However, as I look at their lives, and the sacrifices they make, I don't think I want to make those same choices. Money isn't everything--Having a home to go home to at night, a loving spouse nearby to share in the daily episodes of life are worth something too.

As much as the pipeline people get paid, they earn every cent of it.

Apparently to these workers, money is everything.

Money only seems to "not be everything," to people who have it - unlike those who need it. Go figure.....

Airlines traverse the country round-the-clock at 550 knots an hour to and from just about any sizeable city in every state. Hardly a reason not to work anywhere in the country.

Skid Row Joe · #11 09-12-2010, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LUVMBDiesels

Yeah it takes a lot to do that kind of work. This is the first time I have been away for more than a week or so...
I was OK being down here, missing her of course, but multiple phone calls and emails, etc helped with that. However, it took this incident to make me realize how crazy being this far away is. It is like everything I ever said about you never being alone, we are a team, and we will get through anything together was bull*****. Just words. When she needs me I am nowhere to be found.
It is a horrible feeling.

She is still not feeling well and has called off from work today. If you knew her you would know that she NEVER calls off from a shift. She takes nursing seriously and always gets there and gets the job done, giving 1000% and going way above and beyond the call.

Her calling off scares me more than anything...

I'd of been on the next plane out, after learning of the first incident - but that's just me.
Been there done that.....family health matters to me anyway, always trumps a job.

LUVMBDiesels · #12 09-12-2010, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skid Row Joe

I'd of been on the next plane out, after learning of the first incident - but that's just me.
Been there done that.....family health matters to me anyway, always trumps a job.

You think I did not check flights? nothing available.
I was driving the rental car North at 90+mph when she said not to do it.

On a "normal" day it is a seven hour flight from NOLA to DC with a stop over in Atlanta.

All I am saying is if you think commuting by air is easy you have another thing coming. Maybe back in the day of Eastern and PanAm it was. Show up with cash grab a non-stop flight anywhere to anywhere and relax with a smoke and a drink. NOT HAPPENING ANY MORE.

For what should be a two hour flight it takes me all day and I could not get one yesterday.

Skid Row Joe · #13 09-12-2010, 07:48 PM

Sorry you're having travel difficulty getting home. Do the best you can, that's all you can do.

I drove overnight - twice.....750 miles each way because of family related medical emergencies. I would sincerely advise against "driving 90 miles an hour" as you were doing. That won't help anyone involved. I flew once on the very next flight out because of a death in the family - after a raging blizzard covering part of the Upper Great Plains dumping 15" of snow and 10' drifts. After 37 years on-the-road - there's not much I have not seen travelling by air, bus, train, motorhome and car, in most of the U.S.

jplinville · #14 09-12-2010, 09:56 PM

Have you checked chartered flights? Many businesses that own jets will charter flights for a nominal fee. Perhaps even your employer has one...

My previous employer had one that flew twice a week from Utah to MI. There was a family emergency that required I be there...one of my children had entered the hospital with injuries. I contacted the VP and they offered to fly me to MI, and help with a flight from there to Dayton. The price wasn't bad, $500 and it guaranteed a flight back to Utah when I was ready.

Hogweed · #15 09-12-2010, 10:36 PM

you are where you are b/c you're taking care of your family...it is just impossible to control everything, all the time and being away during an emergency is a nasty hang. do what you're doing and make your decision by employing both the emotional mind and the rational mind...my prayers are with you
read Psalm 23 and get some sleep!