A Texan won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.

He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What the hell you gonna do with that.

There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says,"I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later.

He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field.

He yells out to him, "What the hell are you doing?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What the hell does it look like I'm a doing."

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Texas a bad name, makin' everybody think we is stupid ... If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass."

what knockers!

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1984 300D, 228k, Light Ivory, Java MB-Tex

Two Kentuckians are fishing. They ain't catching nothing. On the other side of the river, there's a guy catching fish left and right. The Kentuckians ask his name.
'Clarance'.
'Well, Clarance what you using to catch all them fish?'
'Worms'.
'Well Clarance, How about you give us some of your worms, so we can catch some fish?'
'Nope.'
'Clarance that's a bit un-neighborly' 2nd Kentuckian ' Yeah Clarance, and I'm in the right mind to whip your but.' 1st Kentuckian, 'Yeah you go do that'.
The 2nd Kentuckian gets in the pickup and peels out. He starts to cross the bridge than slamms on the brakes. Hook a 'U' turn and returns to the fishing spot.
The first Kentuckian, 'I thought you was going to whip ol' Clarance's butt'
2nd Kentuckian' I was, but as I was crossing the bridge, there was a big ol' sign. I siad 'Clearance 11 foot 9'.
Tom