***Disclaimer...this post is purely Therapeutic in nature***

A bit of background...When I was 17, much of my life was in turmoil. My girlfriend, whom I had been with for 3 years, was diagnosed with a life ending liver disease. At the same time, there were many other stressing issues in my life, but i won't go into those.

Anyway, I attempted to to take my own life by taking eighty 100 mg tablets of Quinine Sulfate, a muscle relaxer that my dad used for years to control his issues with malaria. My parents found me, rushed me to the hospital, where I coded 7 times in ER. Obviously, I survived...but not without repercussions. I was blind for 3 months and deaf for 4 months. Gradually, I regained all of my hearing, and most of my eye sight, up to a point. I have little to no peripheral vision. Corrective lenses allow me to have better than 20/20 vision, which has been a Godsend due to the type of work that I do.

Due to the tunnel vision, I'm constantly walking into things. I have to look down to make sure that I'm not stepping somewhere I shouldn't. Because of this, I've had a rather large number of concussions over the years.

Anyway, this past January, constant dizziness, pronounced gait, as well as a slew of other symptoms hit me hard. I've been to no less than 3 different neurologists, and each of them said the symptoms were that of MS and anxiety, as well as inner ear problems (which they were able to easily diagnose as having crystals out of whack).

Anyways, my PT appointment 2 weeks ago proved that the crystals are better, but now I need to enter balance therapy, which was fine with me. None of the techniques she used with me have been helping much. I still need a walker on most days, or a cane on others, just to be mobile.

The PT suggested that I see a Neurological Optomotrist for further help.

After one appointment, he was easily able to diagnose the problem. It seems that suicide attempt really damaged my eyes worse than we thought. Everything I see is so distorted, which is why I've been off balance most of my life. I've had double vision, vestibular convergence issues, both eyes focusing at different distances, etcetera for so long without help from doctors, that I thought I'd always be like this.

After a thorough exam, and holding prizmatic lenses in front of my normal glasses, i was able to see things properly.

Finally!!! There's light at the end of this damned tunnel I've been stuck in!!

We've ordered up the two pairs of spectacles I'll need...one for far vision and one for near vision, as they can't make one set of lenses for both for me. Even with insurance, the glasses cost me over $900.

With vision therapy, balance therapy, these new spectacles, we'll be able to re-train my brain to decipher exactly what I see into a signal that will work with the inner ear, bringing balance back to my life.

In the end, I'll be able to drop the anti-anxiety meds, motion sickness meds, anti-dizzy meds, and other meds.

When you're 17, you can't see past the tip of your own nose. I only wish that I hadn't taken those pills that night in September of 1990.

All too often, the past will come back to haunt you...as has happened to me.



Hopefully, a troubled member of the MB crowd may stumble upon this thread, and re-think things before doing something stupid.

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1987 560SL
85,000 miles

That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
Makes you a pretty strong individual...

Glad to hear that you are going to be able to get off the meds, those things can be worse than the symptoms they are supposed to alleviate.

Thanks for sharing, and hopefully your experiences will help someone else get the help they need before doing something drastic.

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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST

1983 300SD - 305000
1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000
1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000

https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif

I'm glad your parents found you. What awesome news that things, while I'm sure it will be work, are getting better for you.

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Chad
2006 Nissan Pathfinder LE
1998 Acura 3.0 CL
OBK#44
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

SOLD
1985 300TD - Red Dragon
1986 300SDL - Coda
1991 - 300TE
1995 - E320
1985 300CD - Gladys

Thanks for relating your story--it helps to relate to you. I'll probably still forget in the heat of a "discussion", but its good to know what you have been through.
Hope the recovery goes as planned.

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1982 300SD " Wotan" ..On the road as of Jan 8, 2007 with Historic Tags

Reminds me of a quote:

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Chad
2006 Nissan Pathfinder LE
1998 Acura 3.0 CL
OBK#44
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

SOLD
1985 300TD - Red Dragon
1986 300SDL - Coda
1991 - 300TE
1995 - E320
1985 300CD - Gladys

Makes the stuff I go through seem like nothin'. Glad you are here with us and very pleased they are finally able to help you. And thank you for sharing and trying to help someone else.

Dayum! Sorry to hear there may have been permanent damage done, but glad to hear that you may have finally found an answer to the other health-related questions that you've had lately.

Glad you're still with us, big guy.

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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

Oh, we knew there was going to be permanent damage...but to what extent, we weren't sure. My retinas are wrinkled all around the edges, and theres permanent nerve damage to the optic nerve. What we've recently found out is that the current issues I'm having are connected to the eyes.

The doc said that with the sudden onset of issues in January, to expect more issues to pop up that are tied with my eyes. I'm going in for ANOTHER MRI week after next, this time with more attention given to the eyes and optic nerve.

I'm not out of the woods, yet...but we are hoping that this gives me the ability to return to work.

__________________
1987 560SL
85,000 miles

Glad to hear things are looking better.

__________________
1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

Glad to hear you are improving.


Now for my rant.

$900 glasses make me sick.

Even titanium frames wholesale for often less than $10.

Lens material is usually under $2 per lens. Grinding is all automatic.

There are now a growing number of places on line that if you have your
prescription will provide new frames and lens for about $30.

Certainly very specialized grinds will cost more... but even if its 3x its not $900.

__________________
1985 300D 198K sold
1982 300D 202K
1989 300E 125K
1992 940T

"If you dont have time to do it safely, you dont have time to do it"

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."

The price was for two pair of special ground, prismatic lenses, one pair being transitional. I need one pair to see far, and another pair to see close...they can't make bifocals like this.

The bad thing is...I'll also need two pair for work, and those are going to cost me about $1200 due to the OSHA approved materials, which will cost even more for the special grind on the lenses.

But, hey...If these special glasses give me the ability to see to a point that vision is no longer distorted to the point that it affects my balance, then I'll be able to make the money back in about a week and a half.

ANYTHING that helps me get back to making money is money well spent in my book.

BTW...I shopped around for the special grind, and this place was one of the cheapest I could find that was within a 100 mile radius of my house.

__________________
1987 560SL
85,000 miles

I wish you ALL the very best in the struggle, and hope for complete success and full recovery.

Thank you for both the candor, and the courage, to share your story and this message to others.

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

Past mistakes shape our future. It is our duty to learn from them, and share the knowledge we learned from them.

That being said, I learned to spot the triggers that caused me to do what I did, and to make sure that I grew stronger because of them, instead of being weak. I've also learned to look for the triggers in today's youth, and to try to help out when possible.

Some people want to know why I have the personal beliefs in my faith that I have...well, I've had a few other near death experiences in my life, like a car accident where the driver of the car I was in was killed, and I spent a month in the hospital. I've also survived a house fire with my kids. I don't consider that luck, I call that divine intervention. For some reason, the Big Guy upstairs decided that I'm not done on Earth. I look to my children as the reason I'm still here...to raise them in a way that He wants me to.

I won't bore you with a sermon...that's not the point of this thread. it was mainly meant as an outlet for something that has been weighing heavily on me lately.

__________________
1987 560SL
85,000 miles

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Youngsters often seek permanent solutions to temporary problems. Glad you came through it. It is good to hear that they can help you. Some of your posts in the last few months sounded very frightening indeed.

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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Well, this simply illustrates that we all have our ***** to deal with. In my case congenital porphyria which gives me cardiac arrhythmia and neurological deficits which make me drink too much and act odd on occasion.

Yet I'm still here and never complain because it could always be worse.

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