I am facing a dilemma no kid really wants to think about.... But after an extended illness, involving two hospital stays and a rehab center stay.... My mom still cannot function well at home... It started off as shingles, then evolved to an autoimmune disorder then blood clots.... Then the whole collection left her bed bound pretty much for a long timer and the strength just left her. She spent a month in a rehab center and has thankfully started walking and Some services are in place, in home health care and some in home physical therapy I just can't see her improving that much more and I'm just hurting myself physically lifting her (I've suffered extensive damage from a Car accident some years ago) and I just don't know what to do.... In one hand I'd love her to stay here.. By I know if its not safe for her it's no sense in that being the case. In the other hand if she has to go to. Center I essentially become homeless.... Being damaged I can't stand long periods of time and just I need to rest more then the average joe so I can't really do a conventional job... I picked up some work doing remote support but I don't know how many hours I'm gong to get so..... I dunno.... I'm just kinda lost here.... I don't know what to think or do... Just going from day to day and seeing what I can do.....

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hum.....
1987 300TD 311,000M Stolen. Presumed destroyed

If your Mother is of Social Security age, she can go on Medicaid after her assets are exhausted. If she has assets, those can be used to pay for her nursing home costs. If not, then she will have to enter Gov't. assistance all the way for her nursing home costs. You might want to ask about Gov't housing for her, but this is based as well on her assets. While this doesn't address or solve your personal and financial predicament, that's how I see it going down for her care, if you make moves out of the home. One afterthought......if you personally are unable to work, you may have a valid claim for State welfare benefits or Social Security benefits under being disabled. Just an idea......good luck.

Could you find a live-in aide to do the heavy lifting? Legal or illegal, doesn't matter. (In fact, the latter is likely to be more hard-working as well as cheaper.)

Not necessarily.

We hired an English-speaking, intelligent, clean, and hard working domestic in home American citizen to assist our Mother. We paid workman compensation, did tax witholding from her pay, all for $10 an hour. Set-up by our CPA. She was the hardest-working, most conscientious woman I ever met - and legal, 100%.

Looking for and hiring undocumented, illegal, or off-the-books help? No way. You're asking for trouble breaking the law. It may very well come back to bite them legally AND financially.

Joe, I will pray for your situation, I suggest that you do the same, you will be very surprised in how the Lord works things to your benefit.

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For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get.
For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.

Clk's Ebay Stuff BUY SOMETHING NOW!!!

She makes money from her pensions and whatnot. So she would be able to be fine. Just hate the idea... As for hiring an undocumented person.... No... That idea is out, I cannot risk the legality matters of that to even think of that.... A live in person or licensed in home care would work. I dunno.... Just need to hear more...think more..... See how in home therapy will work for her. Give it the ol college try and see... Ill speak with her therapist that worked with her over the month and see what she has to say.. Perhaps she can think of something we've not thought of....

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hum.....
1987 300TD 311,000M Stolen. Presumed destroyed

You may want to consider talking to social worker about your whole situation. I guess that depends a lot on the attitudes they have in any given geographical area.

Usually hospitals have one attached to them to deal with the multitude of simular problems that occur there. Many problems they encounter are simular enough that if the worker has a good brain they may be able to help.

Perspectives from people that do not have personal face to face contact with you and general area knowledge are hard. I think you would not be posting here if not almost at the end of your rope.

Life can be very hard sometimes. It just is the way it is. There may even be local programs to help in many areas available. You sound like you have to do something.

Surely you can get disability payments.?

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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Have you checked on the prices of nursing homes. They are not cheap.

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1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

I honestly would like to work, I don't really care for the idea of disability... I think I'm too young and getting it at. My age.... Well you'd have better luck nailing jello to the wall

I have... You are right. But again. They are something we can manage for the most part. I have to do what is the best and what is the safest for her. If worse comes to worse... I can prolly move in with my sister and help her out with rent etc.

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hum.....
1987 300TD 311,000M Stolen. Presumed destroyed

You're writing a good bit of conflicting information here, as pertains your condition of possibly becoming "homeless," as well as your; personal health issues, employability/employment.

What is; "nailing jello to the wall," mean here?? Totally lost me there......


Disability is not contingent necessarily on your age. It sounds to me that you are having to rely on the kindness of others (family) for your financial support - at least at the present. Right?


You sound as if you're at least a candidate for disability, or some form of State/Gov't relief/welfare. If you are unable to support yourself on your own by working, that's trouble brewing I would think. If none of this was a looming issue - I don't think you'd have written that you fear being; "homeless." No?

I live with my mum to take care of her. I make money and contribute to bills, none of it is handed to me.. I don't make enough to run this entire house but if it came down to it. I can live with my sister. I make enough to cover my expenses there... My main concern is for my mum... This topic is more of a what would you do sort of thing. I know that I will be fine, I've never had to do this before and had hoped someone here would have some experience with helping a parent or loved one possible transition to an extended care.... I know I will be ok. If it comes to it yes, I will apply for some sort of disability. But I would rather do work. Earn it, not have it handed to me.. I just hoped for some practical input on how other people handled this type of situation.

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hum.....
1987 300TD 311,000M Stolen. Presumed destroyed

When my Mom became infirmed, she had the financials to cashflow the domestic, in-house care she needed. None of my siblings or myself relied on her help financially, or lived with her. We all owned our own homes, some in distant states, earning our own livelyhood's. Supporting ourselves was not an issue for us - shepherding her was. It sounds like you need to hire qualified domestic/healthcare help, is the most urgent issue.

As a source for resources (Not necessarily "Assisted Living"):
Senior Assisted Living Guides: Find Senior Care | A Place for Mom

There are ALL sorts of case studies of 90 year olds beginning strength training.

A Physical Therapist to "Show her the Ropes" and "Run her through her paces"
CAN have amazing benefits.

[If "Mom" has a regular F.P. or Gerontologist...Shame on Her/Him !
Herpes Zoraster "Shingles" has a Vaccination that's effective for the majority
of patients,and she should have been offered it!]

If she's the financial resources y'all are only looking at logistics.

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'84 300SD sold
124.128

We have gone through this same thing with my Mom. Almost exactly a year ago, she broke a hip and in the ensuing hospital time including a week in ICU she was on the brink of death. She was so close that we were prepared, at least as prepared as one can get for such an event.

She went to rehab, and came through with an amazing recovery, but not good enough to live at home. We live over 120 miles away and have to go back and forth most every weekend to take care of her affairs, but she is now in Assisted Living and loves it. We are keeping up her house and take her there for meals and family get togethers occasionally, especially Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

If your Mom can get around well enough and meets the criteria, Assisted Living would be FAR superior to a nursing home from what I have seen.

VERY best of luck with it and all the best wishes for you, your family and your Mom.

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2001 SLK 320 six speed manual
2014 Porsche Cayenne six speed manual

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