Who is head of your house?
 

This came up else where and I started to ask folks at work and the limited results surprised me.

It started out with someone who seems to be fairly religious and he said in his home, he is the head of the house hold and this was accepted by his wife of 25 years +/- going in to the marriage and it works for them. Fine. So be it.

I must admit I am finding it impossible to wrap my head around that idea. I then asked Ms Mash who was the head of our house and she said I was. At that point you could have knocked me over with a feather. I found my self being quite upset with my self. I did not and do not view my self as HoH. I have always thought we lived in a equal house where no one has more of a say over the other. We argue about it and who ever has the better argument wins. I tend to be more logical and she tends to be more emotional so when it comes to matters of money .. I usually win.

Then I got to thinking that this HoH thing is a bit more involved than just a label. I wanted to know how I became the HoH in her eyes. It turns out it was by default/abdication rather than me demanding or expecting it. I take care of the finances and maintenance of the house, yard cars and what ever else because she does not want to do it so by that measure I am the HoH. I guess I am OK with that but I do wish she would take a greater interest in the financial side of things.

In terms of final say over what ever, I am not the HoH. We are both stubborn and we both argue about stuff and we both win our fair share (I think).

Another guy I work with said he is the HoH because that is how the bible says it should be. They talk thing out but if not compromise can be reached, he decides and that is that. I do not get that either but it works for them.

So, who is your HoH? Why? Does the HoH rule everything or is it only in certain areas?

My Cat

The fooking cat.

lol x4 on the family pet.

Who generally gets whatever they want, whenever they want it, get away with publicly crapping, is forgiven for chewing up household valuables, and forgiven again for biting of pissing on unknown guests?

I do not mind the jokes (to be expected here) but can you at least add some serious comments to the discussion as well? Please. ... pretty please with sugar on top.

I am, as long as I do what it is, um, suggested I do.

I am now the head of my house.

It is so much better than it was now that she's gone.

I am.

Why?

Because my wife says so.


But...............

Dude... your cat pisses on your guests??:eek::eek:

Jeez.. I can barely type....:laugh::Laugh:


David, I think my household is much like yours. Our division of labor is quite similar, and all big decisions (and many small ones) are decided by the both of us.

So, if you were to ask my wife, she would probably say that I am HoH, even though that would not be completely accurate.

What would your wife's response be if someone asked you who was HoH and you answered 'I am'....
For me, I think my wife is fine abdicating the throne, but may bristle a little if I were to claim the throne as my own;)

who is joking? :D

Id say ive got a pretty evenly divided household, bills split evenly with her name on some, my name on others, every other month we switch who sends the rent check and who gets reimbursed, her cars are insured through my policy at a better rate, but she does pay me for them, food shopping and cooking is done by the GF, and I pay her half and add no talent apart from hunger to that area, ect.

Decisions on taste, furniture, and decor of our home are decided by the GF, decisions on maintenance, repair of the home, repair of the cars is done by me, but again, if its her car I act in an advisory role and tell her what to buy or who to use.

We maintain our personal separate bank accounts, and also one shared account we each deposit monthly into equal amounts for discussed improvements or needs. We will soon be doing the same thing for projected children college funds.

Id say its fairly evenly split with each of us head of different facets of life, and each facet fairly evenly divided. like you, debates are had on certain things and I feel the stronger argument wins, though we both tend to let the other have their way when the issue is one that is within someones realm of authority. For example, what we sit on, what we put on the walls, I don't even debate. :D

:D
I was thinking along the line of dogs objecting to someone in their house. My sister has a pair of small dogs that have been known to decorate someones ankles if they are particularly unimpressed. I have a pair of cats that will mostly tear up your shoelaces and try to eat your food relentlessly.

I cannot foresee any reason why those two words would ever cross my mouth or mind whether in her presence or not. I just do not feel I am nor do I ever wish to be considered that. I personally feel it carries a negative connotation in that I am king by divine decree and she must obey me. I do not ever wish to be viewed in such a manner.

When someone asks that the response is that "we" are. To me marriage is a partnership. Certain people are better at certain things but I would never do something with out asking/telling her nor would she.

I do not think I need to introduce myself as an orthodox Bible believer.

This is one of those issues that gives me plenty of incidents where I feel the need to slap my palm to my head. The verse in question is often abused and often misunderstood as permission or even commanding me to abuse or subjugate their wives "under their thumb".

I'm sure you didn't mean for this to be a theological thread, but I'll quickly lay out my position along with the aforementioned verses.

(Ephesians 5:18b-32 ESV)

(1 Peter 2:13-3:7 ESV)

The bolded portions are usually quoted without any respect to the context surrounding them.

I am the head of the household in my house. My wife knows this and agrees, but let me explain what I mean.

You might be familiar with the traditional Anglican marriage vows where the bride says "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to obey/submit". The traditional vow has only the bride say "submit" and the groom says "cherish".

But I, as a student of the Word, insisted that both of us say "submit".

My wife and I submit to each other, but when there is an impasse, I have the final call. That is, that I have the final vote as to whether I will submit to her will or she will submit to mine. We are equals before God, and submit to each other. But as the head I have the final call in all things, which doesn't necessarily mean I have my will be done in all things.

We have equally divided standing in the house. However, according to my wife (who knows how to get what she wants out of me) I am the head of the house. I DO have final say on all things important, mainly because, like David, my wife decides on emotion, and I on logic. I handle the money, not out of choice, but because I like having money in the bank. My wife has a thing for shoes...she's like the Imelda.

Like she said, it's mainly due to how we were raised, in the Appalachian manner, where man is King, wife is Queen, and the first born son is the heir. Gotta admit, that thinking is Biblical in nature as well. So one could say that religion is the reason as well.

Hold on, the Queen is calling for me, I'll be back later...