That's the last time we buy single ply toilet paper from the dollar store...

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1987 560SL
85,000 miles

I was going to say watch it, you'll go blind but that's worse!

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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

"Danger of break-through if not multiple folded"

~~Alfred E. Neuman (MAD magazine)

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

I have never gotten into it so to speak.

In hot countries they wash themselves after every elimination. Probably handshaking is less common in their cultures.

When toilet paper hits ten dollars a roll things may change in our culture. Actually using toilet paper does leave a somewhat less than desirable residue anyways.

This is unavoidable but we are conditioned to it. You really introduced a ****ty subject post with this one.

Bidet.

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1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

the wife wants me to install one of these contraptions next to the toilet.

My problem with the idea is do you have a dedicated towel to dry off after? whats the way its done where bidet's are popular?

I think we need a third seat, but this one runs the dry cycle, maybe a leaf blower routed through a toaster for a quality air dry.

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This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.

The bidet is a good idea but I never felt good about actually using it. I had one in a hotel room that I lived in for several months. I think it is left over from times when showers were not as readily available. Wet ones became more readily available too. Washing is still better.

More standing and walking and less sitting is good for the lower parts of your anatomy also.

Washing your feet after you wash your buttcrack is probably good practice also. Fungal buttcrack, and they all are fungal, could lead to athlete's foot or similar maladies.

Eat more greens.

I put tissues for my nose in a paper towel for support. Never thought about it with toilet tissue. You could back up some single ply with some bounty and dig for gold.

This thread offends my shy and sensitive nature.

My wife has been asking me to install one of those Japanese toilets made by Toto, where the seat heats up, sprays water at your private parts, etc.

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Paul S.

2001 E430, Bourdeaux Red, Oyster interior.
79,200 miles.

1973 280SE 4.5, 170,000 miles. 568 Signal Red, Black MB Tex. "The Red Baron".

Seems like a retrofit seat should be available which does the same thing.

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1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

Bidet Accessories, ... | Wayfair

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1977 300d 70k--sold 08
1985 300TD 185k+
1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03
1985 409d 65k--sold 06
1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car
1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11
1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper
1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4
1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13

Yeah, I've done a bit of research, and the whole apparatus (heating, spraying, etc.) is in the seat.

There are several makers, Toto included, and they will all fit over an existing toilet if the dimensions work.

The only problem is needing to bring an electrical outlet next to / behind the toilet.

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Paul S.

2001 E430, Bourdeaux Red, Oyster interior.
79,200 miles.

1973 280SE 4.5, 170,000 miles. 568 Signal Red, Black MB Tex. "The Red Baron".

I believe the TOTO also blow dries your bottom.

Electricity near a toilet spells disaster in a house with a hit and miss teenage boy. Closest outlet is about 4 foot away and powers the radio and ceramic heater mounted on the wall.

Our bathroom was an afterthought to the house (114 years old) and wasn't given the option of a heat duct. A heated seat would be nice on those cold, winter mornings.

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1987 560SL
85,000 miles

Toilet seats should be painted wood with metal hinges. It should be a passive device. Anything device that close to my bottom should be passive, very passive.

I love this stuff.

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You're a daisy if you do.
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84 Euro 240D 4spd. 220.5k sold
04 Honda Element AWD
1985 F150 XLT 4x4, 351W with 270k miles, hay hauler
1997 Suzuki Sidekick 4x4
1993 Toyota 4wd Pickup 226K and counting