This guy can write an ad...

[halman2228]

C36 for sale on Houston Craigslist:

Meet Helga, a 1995 C36 AMG. Car guys know what she is: the first ever factory-backed AMG model sold by M-B themselves. I guess you could buy a Camry or some other appliance for the same money, but would it be one of only 500 ever imported to the U.S. during 1995? No. Will it be RWD, with iconic AMG monoblocks and 225/45-17 meats in the front & fat 245/45-17's in the rear? Hell no. Will it have a Nurburgring-tuned suspension with brakes straight off of a CL600? Don't make me laugh.

Sure, Helga's headliner is saggy, but what do you expect from a mid-90's Merc with 128k miles? AMGs are about drivetrain. Her radio doesn't work (and her A/C needs recharged), but maybe instead of listening to the latest Rihanna swill you should drop the windows, step on the loud pedal, and listen to Helga's hand-built, 3.6 liter, 268 hp straight six sing the only song you need to hear. And her bulletproof 4-speed automatic transmission ensures that you (and your girlfriend) can play that track any time you want.

Did you know this car was in a Master P video? No, not this specific car, cut that **** out. Helga... isn't going to win any beauty contests. Her paint is not good. At all. People aren't going to look at it and say 'Yeah, that guy has an AMG- he must be successful!'. They're going to think 'Jesus Christ, who let that slag out of the garage?' But you don't care, because you're sitting in near-perfect, 7-way adjustable leather seats, and you can't see the ratty parts from inside!

I hate to see her go, but I bought one of those cars where headlights go up, headlights go down UPDOWNUPDOWNUPDOWN. Fact is, you're not going to find a better blend of comfort & old-fashioned Affaltenbach clout at anything near $3800 OBO. And I know you're thinking 'Well why don't I just get an E36 M3?' Well sure you can, if you want some 19 year old StanceNation bro's slippy clutch and ****ty ebay coilovers. Helga's bone stock, and that means she'll treat you just as well as she's treated me. Just be sure to feed her premium- she only likes the hard stuff.

Enjoy,
Kevin