Today, friends and family gathered in the town where I live to remember the spirit and bury the body of Marine Lance Corporal Patrick O'Day. Appropriately, it's raining right now here in Santa Rosa, CA. In fact, it started raining last night, and has come down pretty steadily all day. I say appropriately, because it always seems to me to be appropriate for the sky to symbolically shed its tears while so many people below those rain clouds will be shedding theirs.

Saturday service set for SR Marine

April 8, 2003 By CAROL BENFELL - THE PRESS DEMOCRAT

Funeral services for Patrick O'Day, Sonoma County's first casualty in the latest Iraq war, will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday at Santa Rosa's Veterans Memorial Building.

O'Day, 20, of Santa Rosa was a lance corporal in the 1st Tank Battalion, 7th Regiment, 1st Marine Division. He and three crew members died March 25 when their tank went off a bridge and landed upside down in the Euphrates River near Nasiriyah.

Veterans' groups will be assisting in the public service, including the Veterans of Foreign Wars, the Disabled American Veterans, the American Legion and the Marine Corps League, an organization of active-duty, reserve and retired Marines. Graveside services at Santa Rosa Memorial Park, with full military honors, will follow the service at the Veterans Building.

O'Day was born in 1983 in Scotland and moved with his parents to Santa Rosa when he was 3 years old. He was a 2001 graduate of Santa Rosa High School and worked at J.C. Penney's at Coddingtown Mall. He joined the Marines in July 2001, intending to make the military a career, said his widow, Shauna O'Day. "He liked their reputation and he liked their discipline. He was proud to be a Marine," Shauna O'Day said. Shauna O'Day, 19, is expecting the couple's first child in September.

Patrick O'Day, who was stationed at Twentynine Palms, learned he was going to be a father just a week before he left for Kuwait and ultimately, Iraq. A trust fund has been established for the child's care and education. Donations may be made to the Baby O'Day Trust Fund, Exchange Bank, 500 Larkfield Center, Santa Rosa 95403.

The very sad and senseless death of a brave young man who only wanted to serve the country he loved, return to his young bride, see their child be born, and spend their lives together. He's our fallen warrior, our only fatality from this war that lived here with us, attended our local schools, and was known by the people of our own example of home town America.

It's the classic tale of a home town American hero, a young man who went to war to fight for the country he loved so much. But there was no happy ending to be found here. There was no daring rescue by him, or of him. No great victorious battle he survived, no valiant heroic stand made to save others in the heat of battle, no epic Audie Murphy charge against the enemy, no footage of him on CNN helping free the people of Iraq. He really never got a fair chance to experience any of those things. Like so many others, he simply went to war for America, willing to take his chances, knowing what the worst case outcome might be for him. All that needs to be said is that he died for us all. He died bravely, and honorably, in combat. Like so many Marines before and after him. Semper Fi.

I was visiting a local thrift store here on Thursday. The store helps provide funding for a local hospital's hospice program whose services include helping people who are dying to live with dignity in their final days, and providing support for the families of those who are transitioning through that inevitable and difficult period in all our lives when we either lose someone close to us, or when we will be the loved one departing this world.

As I approached, I noticed a huge American Flag covering the entire background of the front display window of the store. Usually, they have some clever theme that in the past has included things like a Spanish-American motif, western gear, Elvis memorabilia, Hollywood movies, prom night, 1950's rock & roll, and all the usual holiday themes.

This was very different. The theme was considerably less frivolous. In front of the American Flag backdrop was a single stool, draped with the "Rampant Lion", or Royal Flag of Scotland, and a framed picture of Patrick O'Day, photographed in the traditional USMC dress blue uniform, sitting atop that proud and ancient flag of the land of his birth.

I was overcome with a mixture of pride in this young man, joy at the love and honor that this gesture represented, gratitude for his love of country, sadness at his loss, compassion for his family, sorrow for his wife and child, fear of our own shared mortality, and the grief of knowing that I was old enough to be his father. That could be my son's picture in that window. And in a way, it was. He was all of our fathers, uncles, brothers, cousins, nephews and sons who ever went, and will ever go to war for America. He was no better, and no worse than any who gave, or will ever give their life defending our ideals of freedom, justice and liberty. He was the model of the clean-cut, all-American-boy-soldier.

I walked into that store, and saw the senior manager of all of the Hospice Thrift stores. We exchanged pleasant greetings, and I immediately told her how proud and gratified I was to see this small, but meaningful tribute to our home town Marine. I told her that I was glad to see someone do something to remember this young man and his ultimate sacrifice for our way of life. I told her how much it meant to me, how it had touched my heart, how it had moved me. I offered my thanks, and pledged my support.

She thanked me for sharing my views with her, and for my support, but told me that the decision hadn't been hers. It was the idea of the manager of that particular store. She then encouraged me to share my comments with that lady directly.

It turns out that Hannah, the manager of that store, is an old family friend of the O'Days. Her boys had grown up with Patrick O'Day and his three brothers. She told me about the boys growing up together, and how they were constantly running in and out of each others' houses their whole lives. This window was a highly personal gesture from a woman who had sons who would soon follow Patrick into service of our country as well. She was grief stricken, while at the same time, scared to death that this same fate could befall another O'Day brother, and/or one her own sons. But what shocked me was that she was almost as afraid of what people would think, or do in response to the window display. She told me that she almost expected some creep to throw a rock through the window, or spray it with graffiti. In fact, she had been amazed to not hear any negative comments from anyone, and to come to work one day to find that someone had actually laid flowers in front of the window.

We spoke for quite some time, and during the conversation, Hannah shared some incredible insights with me, as well as some great stories. One particular one was about an elderly woman who had just told her about the last time a young man from here had gone to war and not returned. He was serving in the Navy, stationed at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked, and he was killed. The whole city (which was much smaller then) was grief stricken, there were services, memorials, and the city fathers even named a school and a street in his memory. She told me that she seriously doubted that the city would react that strongly in this case.

Later that day, I decided to call the local National Guard Armory to see if they could tell me if we had any other local people in Iraq, and to ask what we could do for their families to help them. The sergeant I spoke to told me that we didn't have anyone deployed to Iraq, but that the armory was hosting an event on Saturday after the services for Patrick O'Day to remember his loss, and show strong support for our troops. It was being co-sponsored by a local radio station, and he encouraged me to tell lots of folks to come. I told him about the window display, which he hadn't been aware of. And in exchange, he ended up telling me about his service in the Marines, a life-long ambition that began for him when a soldier gave a little boy his marksmanship medal during a shared moment on a train ride. He told me how disappointed he was to come home from Vietnam and be treated like a criminal. And he silently told me how proud he was to be an American when he mentioned that he joined the National Guard immediately after leaving the Marine Corps. We ended our conversation with me thanking him for his service to our country, and him promising to stop by the window display to offer a crisp salute for a fellow Marine and a fallen comrade in arms.

Jessica Lynch and Patrick O'Day. Two home town soldiers who went to war to serve the country they love. Each from opposite sides of this great nation. Jessica'a capture and rescue have made her world famous, with book and movie offers, college scholarships, and tons of media attention. Still, even having survived, she will likely bear the scars of her experience her whole life long. Patrick's death has left behind a grieving family, heartbroken widow, an unborn child, and a community saddened by his tragic loss. All either of them ever wanted was to come home safe to their family and friends. One did, the other didn't. I salute them both for their individual sacrifices for our country, as well as for their ultimate contributions, and service to America.

We should all be grateful for the men and women like these two, who are willing to fight for what American values really are. I encourage each of you to support our troops, do whatever you can to help their families, honor their sacrifices, recognize their contribution to your way of life, and never forget the price of your freedom.

__________________

Scott Longston
Northern California Wine Country...
"Turbos whistle, grapes wine..."