Playing Games with Girls - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

pentoman · #1 07-26-2003, 12:38 PM

Reading through Stefano's My dating life's an open book here: What do you guys think of this: thread, I was wondering, who does or has played games with women?

I don't mean a spot of Tennis after work, but ya know, playing games to see if someone likes you or whatever, or even to make yourself less accessable/more desireable, whatever..

Before we start, yes yes, we all know it's wrong and we shouldn't and you should be yourself etc. etc. etc., let's try not to get too tied up in that..!

pentoman · #2 07-26-2003, 12:44 PM

To get the ball rolling..
At the moment there is this one girl who, for various reasons, I really don't have the time for. She's very attractive, nice etc., but amongst other things she has been involved with 2 of my friends.. so, ya know, it's not really happening. So I just ignore her. Insult her (in a sort of, fun, way, but not flirting). Many things, but I never actually talk to her, not in a 'nice guy, friendly guy' way (they call me Casanova, you know).

Yet she, every time I see her, is, well I might not go so far as to say 'all over me', but acts close to that, asks me out on dates etc - acting in a way that I just know she never would be if I was normal (nice) to her and asked her how her day went etc. etc., or replied to her text messages with things like 'nice to hear from you', in which case she'd act like most women, where asking me out would rank somewhere below breaking both legs

What's up with that? While we're at it, anyone ever had this and gone beyond that stage? What happened?

1967250s · #3 07-26-2003, 01:00 PM

Life is bizarre sometimes......give her a chance, you never know.

On the cosmic level, she may had to go through two of your friends to get to you!

Dan

#4 07-26-2003, 01:12 PM

I'm with Dan on this one. You never know where it may lead and a couple innocent dates could let you know. If it doesn't seem to go anywhere, no harm done. I'm assuming that there still isn't any annomosity between she and either of your two friends, but you're all young and they'll get over it. It's touchy ground, nevertheless.

As for playing games, I think I've tried a few times long ago in the past and have found that it usually screwed things up for both of us. The fact is, playing games is ground in being untruthful with the other person which can never lead to postive results.

For that mattter, though, I think it's hard for any of us not to play games on a certain level, even if we don't know we're doing it. By our nature, we all tend to want to manipulate situations, particularly in relationships, to the outcome that we want.

When you take a girl out on a date and buy her dinner, flowers, ect., are you acting completely out of selfless giving or are you, to a certain degree, trying to win/buy her affection? I know it sounds bad, but isn't that at least a small part of the motive for doing these things?

jassz · #5 07-26-2003, 09:09 PM

It probably is, if so I can delete this...

I just wanted to say that nearly every species goes through some sort of mating ritual in the search for a mate. Some birds will mate with whomever sings the loudest, or has the brightest feathers etc (and probably all the hen really wants is someone who will keep his half of the nest tidy

). With mountain sheep, it's whichever ram can bang his head the hardest (don't you wish it was THAT easy?:p ).

Anyway, if trying to make yourself seem more interesting, or more desirable (because you are unattainable) is viewed as playing games, in my view it is all fair 'game'. Don't over analyze! On the other hand, if you're playing games like forgetting to mention the wife and three kids you have at home, then that is just being a dishonest low-life.

What do you think?

#6 07-27-2003, 08:20 AM

The only decent game is Twister or maybe a good ol' fashion Crisco party.

#7 07-27-2003, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rsbiomedical
The only decent game is Twister or maybe a good ol' fashion Crisco party.

Yeah, as in secretely spreading some Crisco on some of the twister colors. Makes for great fun!

84300DT · #8 07-27-2003, 11:57 AM

pentoman, it sounds to me like she's trying out stuff , to get a reaction from you, one way or the other. tryin' to see what makes you tick.. or not , lol.
imho it seems to be a fairly benign game.

why not 'play' along?? who knows you might even have a good time!

it takes two to tango.. hehe

pentoman · #9 07-27-2003, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 84300DT

why not 'play' along?? who knows you might even have a good time! it takes two to tango.. hehe

Hmm an interesting idea, but (aside from the fact I don't especially like her enough to), I feel that playing along/going out/being nice/whatever would suddenly make things rather boring.. for both of us. I prefer it this way. Isn't that really dumb?- Getting into a situation where 2 people really like playing games, but probably will have less fun if things progress..

really, really dumb

Quote:

Originally posted by jassz

Anyway, if trying to make yourself seem more interesting, or more desirable (because you are unattainable) is viewed as playing games, in my view it is all fair 'game'. Don't over analyze! On the other hand, if you're playing games like forgetting to mention the wife and three kids you have at home, then that is just being a dishonest low-life.

What do you think?

(I always mention the wife, ex-wife, gay partner and dog first off.)

Hey Nat, strange, I don't think I ever came across you before... Anyway, you can post

:p. Encouraging replies actually, I was knitting a fireproof suit thinking I'd be flamed for dishonest methods of dealing with girls and told 'it will all end in tears' by people that I imagine sitting infront of their computers smoking a pipe.

So. "Let the games commence!"

Oh and whoopee! They continue while you're married too. cool.

84300DT · #10 07-27-2003, 08:14 PM

pentoman, when i said you may have some fun, of course i meant it in the way that if you're playing light and flirty nonsense -- as opposed to deceitful and hurtful, which of course is never a good thing for anyone. it is possible to have a nice friendly and platonic relationship with a women (unless ur married to someone else, that is

!!

jassz · #11 07-28-2003, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Isn't that really dumb?- Getting into a situation where 2 people really like playing games, but probably will have less fun if things progress..

Hmmm, for someone who's not interested, you seem to spend a fair bit of time analyzing your relationship. But, okay, you're not interested. She sounds like she has a strong counterwheel... that's the human trait of wanting to do (or have) exactly what you are told you can not. Did she persue your friends too, then not want them once she had them?

Quote:

Hey Nat, strange, I don't think I ever came across you before...

Oh, I've been here awhile, though it's hard to believe I've actually made 180posts! Mostly I can be found on the Diesel forum, posting long winded tales of Belinda the Benz.

It's kind of scaaarrwey over here, but I thought I'd poke my head out a bit. So far no one shot it off yet.

jpb5151 · #12 07-28-2003, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jassz
I just wanted to say that nearly every species goes through some sort of mating ritual in the search for a mate.

That's how I see it too. We're all just rather complex animals doing stuff that leads to perpetuation of the species.

For some reason, though, games sorta bug me if they're the manipulative type. It almost seems like some people are so insecure that they try to control everything. When games are used to that end, I get a bit annoyed.

It's all OK now, since I'm married and my wife just does the fun games.

#13 07-28-2003, 08:07 AM

Man chased through town by angry women, escapes stabbing
28 July 2003

A 32-year-old woman has been charged with attempted murder after a man was chased through Huntly's town centre by a group of women.

The woman was due to appear in Hamilton District Court later today.

Police said that an attempt was made to stab the man after a fracas outside McGintys bar in Huntly's main street on Sunday.

The man had been chased by a group of women who then allegedly stole his car.

A 26-year-old woman also alleged to have been involved in the attack will appear in court charged with assault with a weapon.

Both women have been charged with stealing the man's car.

G-Benz · #14 07-28-2003, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pentoman
Yet she, every time I see her, is, well I might not go so far as to say 'all over me', but acts close to that, asks me out on dates etc - acting in a way that I just know she never would be if I was normal (nice) to her and asked her how her day went etc. etc., or replied to her text messages with things like 'nice to hear from you', in which case she'd act like most women, where asking me out would rank somewhere below breaking both legs

What's up with that?

Your lack of interest is intriguing to her, as most women believe men by nature always show some type of interest in a woman. If you had initiated the encounter, she would have been immediately bored with you and spent most of her time trying to avoid you!

From my experiences, I would say it's just a game...btw, how old is she?

Many women ran me through the wringer, so I have a tendency to be bitter about the whole experience.

Prior to marriage (how I found a mate, I don't know), I dated women older than me, because I felt the younger ones played too many stupid games. I can't even count the number of times women deemed me the "surrogate" boyfriend, in case their current relationships didn't work out.

Plus, there were the golddigger types, who wouldn't show any interest in you unless you appeared to be well-heeled. My prime dating years were spent in college and broke, so no action in that arena either.

As I got older, I had a fierce distrust of the opposite sex, and pretty much kept my distance...had a female friend or two, but made it obvious that I wanted nothing to do with them affectionately.

I think as women get on in years, they look for less superficial qualities in a mate, so they pursue more stable individuals, and less "bad-boy" types...

pentoman · #15 07-29-2003, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Hmmm, for someone who's not interested, you seem to spend a fair bit of time analyzing your relationship.

Heh..! A good point but really I was just bored and intrigued.

Quote:

Did she persue your friends too, then not want them once she had them?

Yes. Then, amusingly, one of them started ignoring her for that very reason. And so, 18 months later now, she apologised and wants him. Again.

Dumb

Quote:

pentoman, when i said you may have some fun, of course i meant it in the way (...) as opposed to deceitful and hurtful, which of course is never a good thing for anyone

Of course. I don't think I am capable of that anyway. That's mainly left up to the women, in my experience..

Quote:

Originally posted by G-Benz
btw, how old is she?

21 or 22, so this:

Quote:

I think as women get on in years, they look for less superficial qualities in a mate, so they pursue more stable individuals, and less "bad-boy" types...

is probably true..

So, I've gotta wait until I'm 36 until women will like me?

:p That's not very promising.

I think it's true that I don't really fancy a girl so much if she's always seemed to pay attention and be interested in me. I end up going for the ones that ignore me. Surely everyone gets/has had this, or am I alone? Is it the same for girls?

More input please!