When I grew up, my family, like most families, liked to go on outings - be it within 100 miles, or 700 miles. We came over to the States from Stuttgart, Germany, in fall of 1972 and settled down in Washington, D.C.

As part of the regular outing experience was the usual complete breakdown of whatever car we were taking on the trip, leaving us (my dad, my mom, my older brother, me, and later Robbie, our 150 lbs. St. Bernard) stranded out in the middle of nowhere, usually with one hour tows and astronomical repair bills. The situation became so bad that for our Summer trips to New England we ended up renting cars, just for reliability’s sake. Finally we decided to buy a GM station wagon, which became our final, and biggest, lemon.

A couple of years ago I found this hilarious book in a store: "Lemons - The World's Worst Cars", by Timothy Jacobs. I ended up buying the book, and as I paged through it I realized that every single car we owned in those years was a classic, true to norm, documented lemon! How my Dad, either used or new, managed to buy one EVERY TIME (5 times) still boggles my mind. I do know that I got into mechanics as a hobby back when I was 14 (before I could drive!) just to impress and "rescue" the family in need.

Here is the chronology, starting in Germany in 1971, with the documented page number in the book:

1. Volvo 144 Sedan (new): Trouble starting when new. Built in shower stall called sunroof. Page 121.

We moved to the US in 72, so dad decided to buy a new Volvo, this time no sunroof.

2. 1972 Volvo 144 Sedan (new): Never started. Always had to pop the hood open to start and push down something on the fuel injection intake. No Volvo dealer mechanic could fix it. Started going rough quickly. Stalled all the time. Puddles meant complete breakdowns. Also covered in the book on page 121. Note: Volvo's problems disappeared like magic in 1976. We ended up buying a new 1979 - the ONLY good purchase ever, but a real winner.

3. Also same period: 1971(?) VW Squareback (used). Don't get me started - but just a hint - broke down on one of the suspension bridges going over to Cape Cod. Disaster vehicle. On page 113.

4. Replaced with 1975 brown VW Dasher Station Wagon (used) - almost the ultimate breakdown machine. Page 136. This one got my hands dirty. It also ended up taking us to a shop on pretty much every outing, at under 35k miles. Absolutely reliable in going down on us on a trip, like magic.

5. After having all those Euros go bad on us, and never having had trouble with the rented station wagons we had, we decided to go American. A friend of ours convinced us to go Diesel, since his w126 was doing so great, and we, not knowing the difference between a Benz and a General Disaster, decided to go with the best of both worlds: A GM diesel. So we bought this 1979 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Custom Cruiser, silver with wood grain, plush red vinyl interior. Page 148 of the book on lemons. According to 60 Minutes a few years later (on this one they were right, unlike the Audi BS), the biggest lemon in Automobile history - about 1.6 million of those Diesels were produced, which were all converted 350 gasoline engines. GM fired two lead engineers on the project who objected and said the engine should not go into production. We bought it used. 69k - crankshaft failed on the road. New engine ($3.5k back then in '81, with a car we purchased at 6k). Next trip - heads failed. Reworked valves. And so on. Fortunately, we sold the thing before the well renowned transmission problems set in, which we knew nothing about at the time.

When I got on my own, I kept those experiences in mind when buying. First car: Mazda Miata (used). Oh, what a joy. New car: Audi TT Roadster. Ahh! Project car: Benz 560 SEL. Never breaks down, took it on a Washington D.C. - New England journey. At 100k all that acted up was the A/C.

All my Craftsman tools are from my teen years, including my engine tester. I am 38 years old.

Let's hear other lemon stories!

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Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)

1- Second wife
2- Super Beatle – second wife wanted Super Beatle
3- VW Rabbit – replaced Super Beatle – replaced second wife.

No further problems

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89 300E
79 240D
72 Westy
63 Bug sunroof
85 Jeep CJ7
86 Chevy 6.2l diesel PU

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."
Marcus Aurelius

77 Dodge 3/4 ton power wagon bought new, every thing that could break broke ,sold it after three years and took a big loss.I think I just got a bad one in a bad year for Dodge ...........

William Rogers........
.

crash9:

1. Where is the 1st wife?

2. Super Beetle - not in the book.

3. Rabbit - almost the same as the Dasher. Why was the Dasher a lemon, yet the Rabbit not? They both had the same engine (1.4 I think it was). Dasher was basically a hatchback or station wagon version of the Rabbit. Oh yeah, and the Audi Fox was an Audi version of the Dasher (only the name tag and some difference in the rear suspension).

You're right though - I still occasionally see a Rabbit on the road. Have not seen a Dasher in years and years and years. Nor a Scirocco. Nor an AMC Pacer, for that matter. Or a Ford Pinto.

Someday I think the Benzes will be worthless, because they were built so well, and last a lifetime. Anyone who still has a Pinto or a Datsun 1200 without rust has a true marlvel!

On another note - cars are machines, future wifes and ex-wifes are human beings, and having all myself, I try not to confuse them...

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Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)

1983 Dodge Aries. Is that car in the book?

I don't think I've owned any cars that would be on the lemon list.

I have, however, owned two cars that left me on the side of the road...both on more than one occasion.

One was a '74 VW Bug. The other was a '65 Chevelle 6 cylinder.

Other than the injector pump going out on my truck (within a short drive of home), those two vehicles are the only two that have left me on the side of the road, and both did so on multiple occasions.

They're also the only two g@$-powered vehicles I've owned to date. I'm perfectly happy to keep it that way.

1983 Dodge Aries - nope, not it the book. Sorry. 1977-80 Dodge Aspen is, hand in hand with the Plymouth Volare.

__________________
Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)

1. 83 Plymouth Reliant (think same as Aries) YIKES what a turd
2. 04 FoRd Taurus POS made dealer take back w/ 3K on the clock.

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BENZ THERE DONE THAThttp://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/...c/progress.gif
15 VW Passat TDI
00 E420
98 E300 DT
97 E420 Donor Car - NEED PARTS? PM ME!
97 S500
97 E300D
86 Holden Jackaroo Turbo D
86 300SDL
(o\|/o)

1970's plymouth cricket (was actually a hillman with the legendary lucas electrical system)
1970 austin america (again with the lucas wiring...after it caught on fire we rewired it ..how stupid- it should have gone to the junkyard!)

plymouth arrow - complete POS, it was even yellow!


omg, i thought i had forgotten those...

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1984 300D Turbo - 231k....totalled 11/30/07 RIP

also depends on "lemon." Had an 89 Crown Vic (new body style)- great car, supposedly an executive demo. Brakes got to where they shimmied bad during highways braking, and the starter got persnickety when hot.... never could get 'em fixed. Might've just been a lemon dealer. Spent too many years on a '57 Bentley- fun car, but never got comfortable spending THAT much money on mechanical work, and having only 1 guy in the area that worked on them. Mostly lucky in all the other pursuits- even had a Yugo for a short while that I sold to an employee... no trouble. No bad "strandings" ever- usually just pull off the road and do some walking.

Yugo - here you go - page 154.

(sorry for the pun)

I remember there was a bad series of transmission seizures after about 3 k miles on those.

You sold it to an employee - oh goodness, that's a warning sign - don't work for this guy! :p

__________________
Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)

There was also something built by GM in the 70's, I think it was an Oldsmobibble or a Chevy, where you had to get underneath the car to pull the spark plugs because they went up into the cylinder head.

But wait - there is more: You had to remove parts of the A/C system first to even expose the plugs. Anyone remember that one?

And then there was the aluminum blocked Vega. Clunk.

__________________
Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)

73 Super Beetle...still own.

Not quite the definition of a lemon, but VW chose to NOT leave well enough alone and decided to forego the dependable solid beam front axle in favor of the MacPherson strut setup...on a non-unibody car!

The front end shimmied at some speed range throughout my entire 30 years of ownership despite several attempts to correct.

Swapping the skinny tires for some 60-series 195s pretty much masked the problem, much like a Boeing taking off would mask the sound of a bird chirping...

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2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

The biggest lemon my family would have owned sorry to say would be this w126. It left us stranded a few times....chain went when we got it, froze up in winter when exiting highway because gas inside the throttle body would freeze....fuel pump relay went.


The best has to be the Volvo 240 we had and our Jeep Grand Cherokee. Those cars got us through everything and anything.


As for friends having lemons........its the Chrysler Cirrus.

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99 C43
98 S420
99 C230K
01 C240

Most of the big American cars were actually pretty solid - the Chevys featured the venerable V8s (305, 350, and so on) also found in other GMs, and they were considered indestructible - slow rotating, short stroke, wide cylinders, etc (as long as they weren't converted to diesel).

Interstingly though, the book features the Ford Gran Torino line (remember those), and in a similar spirit, the 1972 Mecury Montego. Turns out that besides having many mechanical problems, the vast expanse of flat surfaces on those cars made them rust away while still waiting for buyers at the dealership, with the process continuing rapidly non-stop right in front of the new owners. Yikes!

Oh, how I miss those days of timing lights, dwell adjustments, carburator cleaning, and those gorgeous leathergrain vinyl interiors.

__________________
Henry Bofinger
1989 560 SEL (black/black)
2001 Audi TT Roadster (silver/grey)