Some I used on other forums

"I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis
into a poodle."

" When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes."

__________________
Satan creates nothing: he only ruins everything. He does not invent: he tampers. And his followers are no different ~ Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigaṇ