I've had this car for 5 years and it has always been an outside car, so I don't think the PO has anything to do with this.
Something happened this last storm made the car's windshield wiper system somehow not waterproof.
I suspect that ice damming lifted a seal.
After the car gets wet, the windows and seats work fine, but the moment I touch the washer lever it shorts after moving 1 cm.

It seems like this is very uncommon or I would have more comments.

I guess I will break out the black silicone again.