My wintertime favorites:

1. The guy who starts his car in 20 degree weather and immediately revs it to 4,000 RPM to hasten the performance of the windshield deicer. Only the most anal of weaklings carry a windshield scraper in their car.

2. Stuck in a snow rut in your unshoveled driveway? Here's the solution:

A. Place transmission in Drive and press that pedal down! A cold drivetrain is essential for best performance. The speedometer should be indicating at least 65 during this procedure.

B. Grind little rubber bits off of those Chinese WalMart all-season tires as you spin them through the snow and down to the pavement. Love seeing those black flecks on the snow.

C. As quickly as your cat-like reflexes allow, flick the shift lever from Drive to Reverse, letting the drivetrain feel the shock of a forward rotating tire against a now rearward-rotating transmission.

Bonus points for the above if the car has a ton of well-packed snow under the frame, neatly immobilizing it until spring thaw...