Based on your criteria, a Honda.

In all seriousness though, you won't. You could find a nice W124 that has perfect history for $5k, but you'll still end up putting ~$1k/yr into it. More so if you don't do the work yourself.

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2016 Monsoon Gray Audi Allroad - 21k
2008 Black Mercedes E350 4Matic Sport - 131k
2014 Jeep Wranger Unlimited Sahara - 62k
2003 Gray Mercedes ML350 - 122k