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MY wife and I have been together since December 17, 1982.
The first two years were the most trying, and for various reasons. The first was the lack of a "groove" of the two of us working together. We needed time to adapt to each other's lives and learn to make decisions together. Today, that's second nature. The other main stubling block early in our lives together was money. We had NONE. We rented a an apartment for $330 a month and had a net income of $550. That left $220 for EVERYTHING else. Needless to say, it was stressful.
After two years, the money stress did not lift (not for many years after that) but things smoothed out thanks to us beginning to grow together.
Marriage takes WORK. People bail out when things go a little wrong. It takes dedication and preserverence. It's worth it. I firmly believe that we have such a high divorce rate thanks to people growing lazy and selfish. People are also conditioned to look for "perfection" and it just ain't gonna happen. They want a quick fix and I meet very few people willing to put the hard work into making a successful marriage. Also, people just don't seem to understand compromise. Life is full of them, and you better get used to it. In fact, it can make your life better, no matter what "life-coaches" or your management guru might say. I have found that whenever I have given something up, I get 10X back in return.
Marriage is also, often, about putting someone ahead of yourself. The Boomers and the Me generation, and many young people, just don't get it. They know little of the satisfaction of giving without any expectations. It's one reason why we have the increasing rich:poor gap, and it's spread into our home lives.
Ask yourself this question: if my partner's life was in jeopardy, and the only way that he/she would live is for you to give your own life, would you? Don't answer here, or even aloud. Answer yourself HONESTLY. If both you and your spouse would answer yes, then you have the foundation for a successful marriage. Then all it takes is hard work, and EVERY minute of it is worth it.
I wouldn't change a thing. Not one moment. Not the tough times, as they make the good times sweeter.
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