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On the 3 wire connector you posted a picture of, you could always cut the nylon wire tie and unwrap some of the cloth wrapping and there should be info on those wires as well to help determine what those wires are for.
I am in agreement with your observations. On the ML's where we had someone wanting to install trailer brakes, we never actually had to do the installation on that part, it was always being done elsewhere, but we had provided things like a copy of the wiring schematic after we did the basic hitch installation, so I can't be sure about what I am saying about the wires possibly being pre-installed.
Gilly
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