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BrierS · #9 10-30-2005, 10:16 AM

The above have hit most of the highlights . . . having worked with "at risk" children, most being habitual liars and thieves, I understand some of what you are up against. The biggest problem has also been identified and that is having the disciplinarians on the same page at the same time. Most of the children I worked with were from single parent homes though that usually created the same problem. The parents were too quickly forgiving when the slightest concession was made by the children. They wanted to reward them far too early. To break a pattern rather than to reinforce a new one, takes time, patience and consistency. Rules must be established with the youth's input though they must be made to understand that every facet of the plan is by your approval. Children constantly seek attention and it can be negative as well as positive. They hate to admit it but they WANT ground rules. These are usually nothing more than common sense because society has already determined what they should be and how we should act. As children age it becomes more important for them to gain acceptance from their peers. Additionally, their teachers become an increasingly important part of their lives. I believe those suggesting you seek professional help in dealing with the situation is best. It provides you with an objective source for any plan. Often it is easier to have a non-partial entity giving the ideas so both parents have to follow the same rules. I have written volumes on the individual cases I have been directly involved with. Two steps forward and one step back is possible, realistic with a well devised plan, and will reward all involved. The hardest youth I worked with started at a level (13 years old when I began) where he was not allowed on public school property. He is now scheduled to graduate at the end of this school year. I probably worked more to get his single mother to follow the rules than with him. Best of luck and patience.