Glow Plug Light and Relay Question/Issue

[Squabble]

in my never ending quest to find out why i'm having hard & rough starts, i got a glow plug relay from deliveryvalve to find out if the loose pins in mine were causing my problems. let me describe what was happening with my original Beru relay:

turn the key, light on dash comes on, goes off anywhere from 2 seconds to 6 seconds depending on temp, relay clicks off (i listen for it) about 30 seconds later or so, and i start the car, it starts roughly and smokes a lot. or i'll do this cycle a couple more times to avoid the rough start issue. usually works.

now, when i put the "new" Mercedes Benz relay in:

turn the key, light on dash DOES NOT come on, relay clicks off in about 5 to 10 seconds, car starts up even worse than with the original relay.

why would it do this? why does the "new" relay not turn my dash light on and the old one does? is it possible that the Beru relay is not informing me of glow plug issues by turning the dash light on? could it have anything to do with the glow plug wire harness?

and, where does one find an "after glow" relay? i'm thinking that maybe if i just buy a brand new relay with the long after glow my problems might be fixed? didn't see one at fastland or allparts...

important info: i bought 5 new glow plugs this summer and reamed the holes with a reaming tool. i also pulled the plugs and tested them by hooking them up directly to the battery to see them glow. i also did the dieselgiant gp test proceedure outlined on the website. everything checked out fine, but i might do it all over again to be sure. ohms and electricity are not my strong point.... thanks!