If it is your star's turn...

[Luke]

Then it is your star's turn. I have parked my diesel in the darkest seediest avenues of Sacramento, San Francisco, Oakland, and San Jose. I have left my car for days in the far tundra of long term airport parking lots, amidst drifting newsprint and Twinkie wrappers. I have even taken it to K-mart. Always I would return to find my car unscathed. Tonight, in the well lit parking lot of the Saint Helena Catholic Church, a tidy place of God in our over-chic little wine country heaven, within earshot of the Monsignor, my hood star was snipped. I protest! My 23 year old virgin has been de-flowered! Probably by a fellow Catholic! And I am out $13.58 plus shipping for a new one.

Thank you. I feel much better now.

Luke