bah humbug, I may be through here - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

topanga · #1 12-11-2010, 04:17 PM

I may or may not be out of the driving-a-Mercedes business.

My father passed away this week. I am shattered and heartbroken. He was my buddy, the best thing that ever happened to me, the person who instilled in me my stubborn (and sometimes idiotic) DIY streak. He is the reason I drove the car I drove, my beloved 1980 300sd. He could not have been happier I drove that car, he got a real kick out of it.

I've had MB issues lately. I've had a whirring/roaring/winding up sound that I was trying to chase down by doing research here. I had the brakes done in Sept. and I really don't think it was a bearing issue. I'd pretty much come to the conclusion that it was a misaligned drive shaft. The noise came and went for a while but lately there was no 'went,' it was just predictable, starting at about 25 mph, evening out at about 60 mph and really preventing me (not sure whether it was due to my fear or to power loss) from going above 65 mph. I had, after all, had a coupling failure (NOT flex disc but at the flex disc joint) about a year ago, and had had Random Garage It Got Towed To put me back together.

I was also due for some new tie rods.

The flasher really wouldn't cooperate every time. Again, I was chasing this down and had mostly ruled out the emergency button but hadn't bought a new flasher relay.

I had been having glow plug warning light flash, but that went away when it got colder. I continue to think the temp sensor needed replacing.

I think I have a shifter bushing issue. On the drive up (RACING) to be with my father, I heard something scrape and then the shifter passed far too easily from P to N etc. I just couldn't let that matter. I would have floored it without tires. Nothing was going to slow me down.

Right before he died, my father asked me to drive his car. I am driving it, and I like it, it helps me feel close to him. I really don't know what's going to happen now. I don't want to get rid of my car, but I also didn't want to get rid of my dad and damned if **** doesn't just happen and you just have to roll with it. It wouldn't be my choice to get rid of the Mercedes, but I'm at the mercy of logistics, lawyers, loss, and the Merry Widow, who now gets to tell everyone what to do.

At any rate, I'll take my car to an indie -- it's sitting about a thousand miles away from me right now, battery disconnected -- and get some ideas about what fixes I need and whether I will do them. If anyone has diagnoses or concurs, I'd be glad to hear.

If I do have to go, I will miss you guys an incredible amount. Please -- for me -- be that sloppy jerk who is too vocal with people right now and tells them too loudly and too often that he loves them. Shower the people you love with love. Be good to your cars and your people. Life is so damn short.

panZZer · #2 12-11-2010, 04:41 PM

Topanga, i am so sorry for your loss, most everyone goes thru this -and at this point you are reduced to the emotional level of a child. You got to get thru this and dont disguard the trusty benz just because it reminds you of him.
You will sooner that later got to get on with it and the car is the sensable choice ..

topanga · #3 12-11-2010, 04:53 PM

No, I'm driving his Asian sedan because it reminds me of him. And it's probably more sensible because there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Fixing the MB and figuring out how to do so may be more than I can handle. I think I basically drove it into the ground in the past few months. I guess I am wondering if I am wrong about that.

I sure do feel at the emotional level of a child. I just want my dad.

#4 12-11-2010, 05:05 PM

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad, many of us have been through the experience.

Regarding the car; it sounds like you have more important thing to deal with at the moment, so why not give it a few weeks?

When you are prepared to deal with the car, bring it to a good shop and have them go through it completely and tell you what it needs. You will then have enough information to make a decision.

kerry · #5 12-11-2010, 05:36 PM

Sorry to hear about your dad. I agree with the previous advice. Put the Benz aside for a while. In a few months go back to it and working on it should give you good memories of your dad.

Junkman · #6 12-11-2010, 06:34 PM

I drove my Dad's Suburban for quite a while - until it threw a rod. Having an extra car isn't a reason to get away from the MBZ. It is more likely a way to keep it and tinker it's way back to reliability.

Doktor Bert · #7 12-11-2010, 06:36 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss.

layback40 · #8 12-11-2010, 08:34 PM

You have my deepest sympathy for your loss.
My geography isnt that good, but if you are within a long drive of some one like vstech or another member on here that does work on MB's, best you get your car to them.
In time, you may find that you no longer need your dads car to give you the great memories, often something small, like his key ring or his watch will be more significant to you as it can be with you always.

Larry Bible has gone through hell in recent time since his father departed, pity he is not so active on here at the moment to give some moral support that he would give so generously.

If you feel like a good rant, feel free to come and join the grumpy old diesel owners club on this forum. You will see what I mean when you read some of the posts !!

Good Luck & keep smiling

Skid Row Joe · #9 12-11-2010, 09:13 PM

Take care, man.

It's a tough time in life right now.

I'll add your family to our prayer group.

Keep the Faith!

topanga · #10 12-11-2010, 09:33 PM

I so greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers. My dad was a great man who never minded that I was a girl. He'd puzzle through car issues with me, ask my advice on computer things, and share his thoughts with me, which was a giant gift. I do have other things of his... I just am not sure what the future holds. I just won't be seeing the MB again until January, and then I'll figure out what to do. I'll share with my indie my various theories (I forgot to mention the last two times I drove it, I had to use the manual shutoff lever) and we'll see if it's worth saving. I'm pretty shaken up about my dad going and one thing I want is AIRBAGS. I feel so damn vulnerable. That's why my dad gave me his car, because we both were feeling unsafe. Though the MB is a beautiful hunk of sturdy steel, I'm, as I said, feeling vulnerable.

I feel bad for Larry Bible and indeed anyone else who has gone through this. It's so painful. I know it's normal pain, but it's deep and wide. I miss my dad.

JHZR2 · #11 12-11-2010, 10:26 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss.

At the end of the day, it comes down to finances. Keeping two cars insured versus one.

If you have the finances to pay to maintain the MB immediately, Id just send it to the indy, and now you have the flexibility to use another car.

If long-term you will not be able to keep paying insurance and PM on both, then you do need to come to a decision... May be best to cut your losses and sell the MB, but recognizing that a poorer running example will be worth less.

vstech · #12 12-11-2010, 11:21 PM

feel free to PM me if you'd like a free checkup on your car. my location is in my post, if I'm not too far away, feel free to drop me a PM and set up an appointment to go over the car.
I REALLY feel for you, and will pray for you to have strength to get through this.
my father is aging poorly, and I really fear loosing him. he's had several major strokes, and a heart attack or two. he's 1/2 the man he was, but still has his memories and talks often of his past fun times!

take care, and seriously consider holding on to the 116, it's a rare car in rust free condition. if you do decide to sell, having it in complete fully functional condition really helps the sale.
but really, don't put the decision in your head at the moment.
keep this in mind though.

the car may not have air bags (which cause many issues as well as prevent them) but it still is a WONDERFULLY designed car that will get you safely through a head on collision due to it's crumple zone construction.
FAR and away safer than any asian car with antilock and airbags.

bophunk · #13 12-11-2010, 11:55 PM

T,

You are in our prayers. Please always know that.

tankowner · #14 12-12-2010, 12:53 AM

Of course, I agree with what everyone else has already said. I feel your loss - it's been 20 years since I lost my dad (almost hard to believe now that I say it - the years go by so fast) and he went way too early. I wouldn't spend any time worrying about that MB right now - put it aside and come back to it after the Earth has made another trip or two around the Sun. The pain of losing someone that special never really lessens - it just comes less often with the passage of time. Right now he is all you can think about, and that's alright. If it makes you feel better and closer to him, drive his car. Try and find comfort in your other family and friends - and in the memories you'll always share with your Dad. Despite the sadness in your heart now, be sure to focus on the happiness he brought you throughout your life, it will get you through.

Take care.

mach0415 · #15 12-12-2010, 06:24 AM

My deepest sympathy to you for your loss. Losing someone so close leaves us feeling raw and feeling so hopeless. We mourn and we manage to somehow get through it, but the occasional hurt and sadness in our heart never leaves us. Your dad would never want you to forsake the Benz, although it may remind you of him. In time, it will bring a smile full of good memories to mind. So, take heart, my friend. Keep going, even if it takes time to complete the tasks at hand. Blessings to you and your family.