Muffler grease
 

Hello Everyone
Help!
Need Muffler grease to smooth out the sound of my exhaust.
Checked all the stores; out of stock, sold their last two cans to the politicians running for office, as speachafying lube.
Where can I find some?

In the auto parts store I use, they moved it into an area for "specialty automotive products. It's right next to the blinker fluid and aluminum magnets now.

Len

It's a seasonal item. You'll find it at the store in the same section as tire air. Right now the winter air is on clearance, and as soon as that's sold out the muffler grease will be stocked with the summer air.

Howard Dean made the huge mistake of going to Jiffy Lube to get his muffler greased----and just look what happened to him!


http://www.mtv.com/shared/media/news...am_cbsnews.jpg



One week after Juffy Lube repacked Howard Dean's muffler (with the WRONG kind of grease) here is what happened:

http://okielegacy.org/mystery/annrey...es/muffler.jpg

Don't let this happen to YOU. If you're running for political office, be sure to re-pack your own muffler. I recommend Mobil 1 synthetic muffler grease---keeps 'em running quiet... and NEVER lets out a scream.

Prevent political blowouts: avoid Juffy Lube!

Grease:
 

Why are you looking for grease? Did you check the muffler bearings?
And the politican don't buy anything they steal it. But last I head they are partial to Bull ****. So better stock up on BS Repelent. Good for politicans and salesmen.
They may put the grease you are looking for next to the Brake Sock that goes with the Brake Shoe's.
Please do a more comple search of the store.
Charlie

Morgan,

You might be able to get your odometer working by cleaning out the muffler grease on the gears and shafts and replacing it with epoxy.

P E H

If you're having problems with your muffler bearings, you'll probably have to replace the transmission soon, better have 2 of them installed just in case.http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-004.gif

I feel sorry for you guys that have to go looking for it... and then buy it... I'm sure it does not smell as good as homemade grease... I mix ground up Sassafrass tree root ( after making tea with it ) ... and gopher droppings..... very greasy.... and oh so aromatic when heated up.... cats chase my car as if they were dogs....

New law
 

New improved muffler grease sold only to honest politicians.
All other politicians use shaft oil or blither blather grease.

SPOTTED! Politician using muffler grease!
 

A dishonest (is there anyother kind???) politician found some use for that all purpose muffler grease.

If your muffler's too loud, there's a very simple cure -- a more powerful sound system!! A power amp, sub-woofer and some new speakers should cure the problem quite nicely! BTW, we're having a 2 for 1 special on radiator bearings!

New Tool
 

Hello Everyone
Gasser extraction tool.
For those who should be driving diesel.
By my new patent pending; Radiator cap jack and gasser extraction tools.
Only $19.99 + 400,000,000,000.00 S&H.
Guaranteed to extract that stubborn gasser from your fleet, and ease the replacement diesel in.
Offer not valid outside of Atlantis.
Warranty void; if used on Yugo.
Use only imaginary 3W 7 oil with this tool set.
Payment method; cash, stocks and deeds to countries. :D :D :D

working on new noise supression device
 

I just can not seem to find an F16 jet engine (130 db) that will fit my dash and run on diesel!!!

Whunter, would you instead take a set of priceless brand new in the box piston return springs for the ultra rare steam powered Super Sport Trabant for one of your radiator cap jacks?

tempting
 

But; I am holding out for the deed to Canada. LOL:D

Newbie question:

Is synthetic muffler grease better than dino muffler grease? Should I use Mobil 1 muffler grease?

You saw what happened to Howard Dean's muffler? That's what happens with the cheap dino grease!

If you don't want to be embarrassed on national TV with muffler blowouts... you gotta use the good stuff!

-------

In an ironic twist to Howard's mufler blowout, several people in a small Vermont town have reported seeing the ex-Governor working at the local Jiffy Lube.... you guessed it: down in the pit, packing customer's mufflers with grease!

Poor Howard Dean....

if anyone finds any synthetic muffler grease i would be glad to trade some bolt holes for some, i might even throw in a long stand as an incentive!

I need some bolt holes
 

Are they metric bolt holes?
All I have to trade is a bottle of fast electrons, for slow wires..

I'll trade my left-handed ratchet for those fast electrons. The metric bolt holes are on sale this week, by the cash register and the next item over from the metric wait-a-bits.

I saw the most amazing thing the other day...
 

I saw the most amazing thing the other day... I saw two politicians walking down the street with their hands in their OWN pockets!

Are those gin-yoo-wine OEM or are they Acme bolt holes?

when pigs fly. Re: I saw the most amazing thing the other day...
 

That I would need to see. LOL
WHEN PIGS FLY. 1st class or coach? LOL

Watch out for the Chevy bolt holes, they do not fit MB!!

Gin-yoo-wine OEM bolt holes would be at the dealer. Acme bolt holes are sold by your genuine ACME representative Wile Coyote. The ones I saw on sale are just the plain Jane metric bolt holes. Sorry, but I thought everybody knew the difference. And Wile Coyote sells fuel additive that will make your diesel MB go like a rocket sled on rails, if you're interested.

Meep, Meep
 

phttt, phttt, Zoooooooom
Meep, Meep

ACME hole company went out of businees in the virtual hole boom of 2000. They where not able to compete with the low cost "hole in a bottle" campaign. When that fizzled because of quality issues, ACME Hole company had already gone bust.Now the only place you can by ACME bolt holes is from the local elbow grease distributor or on EBAY. Watch out for fake holes though. I bought a dozen and none of them work.

Henry

ACME did go out of business in 2000 but they are now back in business, due to a merger between C.R. and R.R. Wile Coyote now cart-pools with Winnie Pooh to save on Eyeore's fuel cost. Winnie's a nice fellow. He gave me a big jar of yellow muffler grease for half price just so he could show me the proper way to get it out of the jar. These guys are like Snap-On and MAC. All you have to do is stand outside your door and yell out "Christophhhher! Christophhhhher Rrrrrobin!" Be patient, because Eyeore's a diesel and Pooh doesn't want to give him an Italian tuneup because he might blow off his tail.

whunter, you'd better get somebody to close this thread before it degenerates into silly foolishness.

Do you know why tigger was looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Muffler grease found
 

I am so confused!!!!!!!!!
Which one do I use, the local distributor (Speedy Gonzales) is no help.

#1. Texas redneck Muffler grease = real hick dino lube.
#2. Texas Aggie Muffler grease = synthetic lube.
#3. Marvin Martian diesel Muffler grease = ailen synthetic lube.
#4. Daffy Duck diesel Muffler grease = quack up synthetic lube.
#5. Mercedes Buns diesel Muffler grease = dunno; but it is MB.

Local dealers
PePe Le Pew
Wile E Coyote
Daffy Duck
Marvin The Martian

Get it from the pizzaface guy. He delivers in 30 minutes or its free!

OEM bolt holes
 

Just got a box of MB OEM bolt holes.
Opened the box and they where all gasser "A" bolt holes; I asked for the case hardened diesel "C" bolt holes.
Guess I will give Wile E Coyote a call now.

Ask Wile E Coyote about his new fuel additive while you're at it. Now has the long string so you don't have to do the old "light it and hope you make it to the driver's seat in time" drill. Wile E Coyote is your genuine ACME representative. Buy ACME.

Valve Adjustment
 

After you get the Muffler grease don't forget to adjust the Knudeson valve. You may even have to fiddle with the flugle fitting.:D :D

Is this nonsense ever going to cease? I'm surprised this wasn't deleted a long time ago.

P E H

Apparently not; it's evident that the moderators palms have been greased.

Jessica Rabbit
 

is distracting them while we continue this oil thread!! LOL:D
"Elmer Fudd", dropped by and gave me a case of vanishing oil, guaranteed to disappear between oil changes. LOL :D

Any boaters out there? i need some water line.

I got some right here! It's sitting next to the prop wash and the relative bearing grease.

:D :D :D

if anybody knows where i could find a laughing shaft for a 1998
e300td i would be very gratefull. or even a giggling pin.
thanks in advance
wagger

I gotta skyhook to trade for a giggling pin if there are any takers.

You should ask for a HT punch before asking for a water line. First things first, y'know.

Remember Engatwork is busy maintaining his presses and such during shutdown.

My Talon's downpipe could have used some grease, now it has a huge hole in it! ;) Doesn't bother me much but it kind of has that Hon-Duh bumble-bee sound at moments. :rolleyes:

Want a good experiment? Fill your tires with compressed C02, then just watch your rims melt away. C02 + moisture = corrosion.

I've got a defective batch of blackholes that I'm willing to trade for a skyhook.

Could be as simple as spring fever.

oil and torque needed
 

Anyone have the Mercedes Benz recommended torque specification for the nut behind the steering wheel?
What kind of oil is recommended?

I'm afraid of applying any torque to my nuts.

dabenz,

I only buy from ACME if they have the lowest price.

P E H

While walking around scout camp looking for a left-handed smoke shifter a wise ole man told me to only buy muffler grease from a local vendor. Micro-climates are so different a good local can mix the perfect batch for the area. Causes trouble when you travel tho...

btw, everyone only had right handed smoke shifters.

The next night we went out on a snipe hunt. Came up empty handed tho.