She's so fat that when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.

Some of us bring joy into a room upon entering, others when they leave!

I posted this in the office of one of my-ex employees, man did he have a fit..... :)

One of my favorite:

Strong back, weak mind.

..he's a walking argument for retroactive birth control.

Do insults have to be about other people? How about the following from the late, great Rodney Dangerfield:

"I don't get no respect. When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

"I don't get no respect. I was in a bar and a guy asked me if I had any naked pictures of my wife. I said, 'No.' He asked me if I wanted to buy some."

Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said "Are you Louise?" She said, "Are you Rodney?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "I'm not Louise."

Do those count as insults?

"you are so inept, you could f**k up an iron ball with a rubber hammer"

"that baby is so ugly, it's mom hangs a pork chop around it's neck so the dog will play with it."

"did your parents have any children that lived?"

"his family tree does not have any forks in it"

my Uncle's favorite:

"boy, you are so stupid, the best part of you must have become a stain on the mattress."

Overheard on TV:

"Not all of his dogs are barking"
"Not all of his jets are firing"...

...and from Bones on Star Trek:

"not all of his phasers are firing"

"Your mother is so fat, her blood type is Ragu."
"Your daddy is so dumb, he put a ruler beside the bed to see how long he slept."
"You're so fat, you get your clothes from Omar the tentmaker."
"You're so poor, when you go to KFC, you have to lick other people's fingers."

Oh yeah? Well you're so fat that when you got on a talking scale it said "Hey! One at a time!

She was so fat she had to put her scarf on with a boomerang.

He was so dumb he thought oral sex was talking about it.