I now understand my civic duty to the united states

[shane]

While in Paris this weekend the only choice of news at the hotel was the Fox news channel. I usually do not watch this channel due to all the negativity I have heard about it from my american friends, but it was the only news channel on in english. It was so informative that I could nto stop watching it. I watched it for hours on end. Something I never did before. I mean it really did rock my world. I never knew there was so much in america and the world to fear! And alot of it from the French people I was staying with. Needless to say I watched my back from there until I boarded the plane for houston.
When I got back I finally called the FBI on my neighbor two doors down as he is, well you know, of middle eastern color. Says he is form India, but you know how those people lie about everything, and their native religion is just, well, false. He keeps irregular hours and had a anti-bush sign in his front yard during the election period. I never see him go to church either. He is highly suspicious. I feel I am just doing my new found american duty.
Now I watch the Fox news channel 24/7/360. I have started carrying a concealed handgun with a permit, and double lock all my doors at my home. you just can't be too careful.
Seems crime, terror, and unrighteous attacks is all that exists now, and I am going to listen to Fox and become more patriotic since Bush really does know what is best for me and my family.
In following our leader more closely I have started listening to televangelistic preachers. They really do put on a good show. They know how bad the world is right now, and they know how to save my family. I am sending them my money now so they can set the rest of the world straight on the superior teachings of our God and his son Jesus. Sending him money is not all that easy right now since my salary has been cut and my future with the company is at stake since this awful down turn in our economy has made my position expendable.
Fox taught me that this was due to the lying president Clinton, and that Bush just inherited this natural cycle of a downturned economy. A shame really since Bush represents what is so right and correct with america. His handling of the evil Hussein and other terrorist killers hs been the stuff of dreams. Thanks to Bush and the Fox News Network I can rest assured at night, even though my immediate monetary future is at stake, that they will keep me informed and protected from all that tries to change in america. God bless.