Some priceless quotes

[sfloriII]

I received these via email today. I don't know the source. ENJOY!!


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston
Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies
manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports
analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there
is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
Fowler, FCC Chairman

[boneheaddoctor]

I did not have sex with that woman...............

when confronted with the blue dress with seminal fluid with a genetic match ....Bill CLinton


"That depends on what the definition of "IS" is....

Bill Clinton


My wife Hillary has balls as big as mine.....

Bill Clinton

[Carleton Hughes]

"Parenthood is hereditary,if you're parent's didn't have children chances are you wouldn't either"

Fred Allen

[oldnavy]

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

George Orwell

[Carleton Hughes]

Who can equal our wise and learned leader when it comes to brilliant and incisive phrase-making and witty bon-mots?

http://www.bushisms.com/index1a.html

[coldwar]

"I'm looking for someone who knows something about intelligence" - G.W. Bush- recent Press Conference

"When can I meet Prime Minister Poutine?" - G.W. Bush- when visiting Halifax, Canada

[Plantman]

Originally Posted by boneheaddoctor

I did not have sex with that woman...............

when confronted with the blue dress with seminal fluid with a genetic match ....Bill CLinton


"That depends on what the definition of "IS" is....

Bill Clinton


My wife Hillary has balls as big as mine.....

Bill Clinton

A-HOLE! LOLOLOL. Meant to be complimentary. You must be a hoot at those republican get togethers, what are they called ummmmm?

[Plantman]

"They misunderestimated me."
—Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
—Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001

More Bushisms. Too funny!

[aklim]

Originally Posted by oldnavy

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

George Orwell

Little Red Riding Hood. She gets saved by the woodcutter and doesn't have to stain her hands and get PETA after her.

[jjl]

Sam Goldwyn was the first, with 'Goldwynisms'

'We've all passed a lot of water since then'

'Elevate those guns a little lower'.

'We can always get more Indians off the reservior'.

[Brian Carlton]

"Over 50% of our energy comes from overseas. Fortunately, a lot of it comes from Canada."

GWB, January 5, 2002, Ontario, CA


"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport"

GWB, October 3, 2001, Washington, DC


"And so, in my State of the-------my state of the Union-------or State------my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation-----I asked Americans to give 4,000 years-----4,000 hours-----over the next-----the rest of your life-----of service to America. That's what I asked-----4,000 hours"

GWB, April 9, 2002, Bridgeport, CT


"I think it's very important for world leaders to understand that, when a new administration comes in, the new administration will be running the foreign policy."

GWB, January 12, 2001, USA Today


"There's an old saying in Tennessee-----I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-----that says 'fool me once, shame on-----shame on you. You fool me-----can't get fooled again.'"

GWB, September 17, 2002, Nashville, TN

[Botnst]

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

[Zeitgeist]

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despiceable an ignoreable war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder." -- Albert Einstein

[Botnst]

Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.
Aristotle

[Carleton Hughes]

"slow rises worth by poverty opressed" Samuel Johnson,The Vanity Of Human Wishes.