Jeff Foxworthy on Colorado

[sfloriII]

[I did a search on snopes and didn't find anything to say this isn't Foxworthy's material]

Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Colorado


( It was only a matter of time before Jeff Foxworthy took a couple of
shots at Colorado)

*You are a Coloradoan if ..........*

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from
the mountains.

4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.

5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your
own special bike lane.

6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you
would never go there otherwise.

8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire
Beer.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.

11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and
spring blizzards

12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.

13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from
altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but
can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.

16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer
and not get a buzz.

17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.

18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.

19. April showers bring May blizzards.

20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.

21. You know what a 'Chinook' is

22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.

23. You know what a "fourteener" is.

24. ...But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.

25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a
Democrat in Congress does.

26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.

27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.

28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

29. Thunder has set off your car alarm.

30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.

31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

32. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!

33. You know where the real "South Park" is.

34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

35. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'

36. You've 'checked for ticks'

37. You've dressed in shorts , sandals, and a parka with a hood.

38. You've gone snow skiing in July and.........

39. You've played golf in January and.......

40. They were in the same year!

41. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run
into both oceans

42. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is

43. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction
from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

44. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your
Colorado friends. :-))

[kerry]

Yep.

[Shawn D.]

I seriously doubt that Foxworthy did that. Just chalk it up to a Coloradoan using the Foxworthy style.

[WVOtoGO]

And - You know what: Hazed and Infused, Wildernest Wheat and Old Jubilation are.

I’m happy to say, we often fly back home with plenty of each.

(Once, on the verge of a CG issue. But we try not to think about that trip.)

[Benzadmiral]

People in Denver used to tell me, when I wanted to know what compass direction to take, "Look for the mountains; that's west."

It frazzled 'em no end when I pointed out that you couldn't do that on a snowy day, at night, or in areas with lots of trees.

Switch from heat to A/C in one day? Denverites' standard response to that was, "Y' don't need A/C in Colorado." (Crap. When it's a hundred degrees outside, I don't care how dry it is, you need air conditioning!)

(And we switch from "Heat" to "A/C" on the same day pretty often down here in The Swamp, too.)

[sfloriII]

When I visited Colorado Springs a couple years ago, I mostly remember having to drink about a gallon of water a day just to keep from dehydrating!

Beautiful state!!

[Diesel4me]

Hey everyone, Stefano got some email!

[Colorado220]

LMAO!!!!!!! I am PROUD TO BE BORN AND RAISED IN COLORADO!!!! It is sad how many of those apply....LOL........ I was just above tinberline a few days ago..LOL...... And the snow rule is true....... I will use 6" to get out of work.... BUT NOTHING KEEPS ME FROM SNOWBOARDING!!!! LMAO!!!! To funny!!

Heck a few of us were bored and wanted to go drive!!! So we took the rovers out..... Nothing bad........... Just 6" - 2'...... Didn't want to chance getting stuck........

http://www.lrrforums.com/showthread.php?p=16197&posted=1#post16197

[Palangi]

The locals down at Christmas Island (Central Pacific) always have a big laugh whenever a tourist from Colorado shows up.

In the I-Kiribati (Gilbertese) language, koro = cut, and rato = testicle. As they only use about a dozen letters of the alphabet, Colorado to them = Kororato.