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Polish divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean. What are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland . Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her. Is your wife a nagger? (I LOVE THIS ONE) No, she white. Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me. What makes you think that? I got proof. What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover' |
Ha ha ha. That's one for the "Clean Joke" thread, Paul.
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The other version I heard a long time ago was
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger? Hillbilly: No but our son is and that is why I want a dee vorce. |
Blondes not so dumb after all . . . .
A friend just sent me this:
New Windows ~~~~~~~~~ Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellllooooo, just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year, namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves ! Helllloooo ? It's been a year ! (I told him.) There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.....He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument. I bet he felt like an idiot. I need new windows. Maybe I should try this. |
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Pella? Are THEY any good? Maybe I should start a thread about that . . . .
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Good one. :D
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One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly
remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window? The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'. The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?' The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls. |
Marriage is grand.
Divorce is 100 grand. |
Polack painter was out of work. Finally some guy hired him."I want you to paint my porch"sez the fellow.
Ol' Stosh comes back 4 hours later,tells the guy he's done. Fella sez,"So,you painted my porch the way I wanted?" "Yeah,"the Pole replied,"but you can't f*ckin'fool me,it was a Mercedes,not a Porsche"....................... |
A cabbie picks up a Polish dude who needs to get to the Yimka Motel. The cabbie says theres no such place, but he calls the dispatcher to be sure. After a few seconds the dispatcher responds, "I think he wants the YMCA".
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Oh, and Ken gets to pay Barbie's blood sucking lawyer too :eek: |
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