Canadian apology... - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

blackmercedes · #1 03-13-2003, 10:41 AM

For those of you Canadians that live in caves, and our US friends, Rick Mercer is a satirical comedian that often "says what we're all thinking." Here is Rick's apology to the US:

Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel Your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.

We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

need2speed · #2 03-13-2003, 11:10 AM

If that passive-aggressive diatribe makes you angry, try this American Stress Reliever for a bit 'o fun!

FWIW, us Canadians only have the market cornered on smug self-righteousness cause we don't have the muscle to do anything!

Zeus · #3 03-13-2003, 11:46 AM

You mean peaceful, polite, sparcely populated and clean?

DieselHead · #4 03-13-2003, 11:53 AM

I think Canada's great. So is that line about waiting for two years to move on Hitler.

Alex

#5 03-13-2003, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zeus
. You guys have Krispy Kremes (my US Uncle always knows when the "FRESHLY BAKED" light goes on) and we have Tim Horton's.

canada has KK also. i was in toronto when the 1st one opened. the lines were hours long for weeks. they had to install outside tents with heaters to contain the crowds. it also had a drive-thru, and they had to hire extra police to keep the cars off the main street.

but, living in atlanta with many KK located around the city, i DO miss a good cup of horton's finest when its cold and wintery. however, TH donuts suck in comparsion with KK, but i accept your apology for them anyway :p

take a ride to KK, and "fill yer boots" with hot donuts.

leathermang · #6 03-13-2003, 12:33 PM

There were many Americans that joined the Canadian Air Force because we were not in the fight...

Benzoman · #7 03-13-2003, 12:38 PM

Why would I want to leave America just to visit America Jr.?

#8 03-13-2003, 12:52 PM

Quote:

I like Canada. It reminds me of the United States...in 1930.

Somehow, that doesn't make too much sense to me.

The Canadians have four-lane highways, world-class ski resorts, and cities like Vancouver, which, IMHO, is one of the most attractive cities in the world in terms of the style of its architecture and the natural surroundings of mountains and sea.

I enjoy any time I get to spend in B.C.

Quote:

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I thought the British did that? This also confuses me.

-Sam

Zeus · #9 03-13-2003, 12:59 PM

Lol...it's true! The shop is in Mississauga, which is essentially part of Toronto. Pretty soon you'll have Timmy's!

My fav thing about the U.S. are the 24-hour, 7-days-a-week drive through beer stores in North Carolina.

"Brew Thru"

Simply excellent.

#10 03-13-2003, 01:19 PM

Quote:

My fav thing about the U.S. are the 24-hour, 7-days-a-week drive through beer stores in North Carolina.

WOW!

We truly are in the 21st century....

Now, if that innovation could only spread out West.

-Sam

Diesel-Lover · #11 03-13-2003, 02:00 PM

Zeus, Mbz,

There is nothing like filling up the car then going in and being able to grab a case of beer and a bag of chips at the same time at most gas stations out east here.

If that don't beat all then go to LA that is Louisiana like where New Orleans is, when we were leaving the bar the keep asked ya want a go cup?! They serve up a mean hurricane in a glass.

Zeus · #12 03-13-2003, 02:10 PM

True civilization.

leathermang · #13 03-13-2003, 03:14 PM

There sure are a lot of very funny Canadian Comedians down here. The list just goes on and on.... They really helped Saturday Night Live get started. Many were from " Second City" whatever that was .....

Zeus · #14 03-13-2003, 03:58 PM

Drive through bar service!!!??

IM IN!!!

In Ontario, where I live, you can only buy beer at special provincially-run beer stores named, in a stroke of bureaucratic brilliance, "The Beer Store".

How It Began

Premier of Ontario - "Well, gentlemen, we arrive at the final item of the Provincial proceedings, namely the beer supply outlet for the general populace. All of the appropriate legislation regarding the purchase, distribution and sale of said alcohol has been drafted and approved and we are left with a final task. The name for the city-wide distribution outlets which shall provide the good people of Ontario with their beer."

Caucus Member - "We need a good name, Premier. Something people can associate with beer and the store that sells it."

Premier - "Yes, good point. Let's see...any ideas?"

Caucus Members - *still thinking*...*still thinking*

Premier - "How about "The Beer Store"?" That has a nice ring to it and I don't think it leaves much margin for misinterpretation!

Caucus Member - "Sir, once again, your intelligence shames us all."

Premier - "It shall be so then."

And ever since that day, we Ontarians can only buy beer from sparcely distributed (and never around when you need one) 'The Beer Store's. They have positively draconian hours (11 AM - 9 PM) and aren't open Sundays in most places. Sad, very sad.

To complicate matters, if you wish to buy liquor or wine, you have to go TO A SEPARATE STORE. This one is simply called "The LCBO" - short form for the Liquor Control Board of Ontario. Scary stuff. Drive to one store for beer, then drive to another store for your wine and rum.

I love my country dearly, but these laws are quite clearly insane. If we weren't such a peaceful people, we'd probably revolt or something.

We are light years from a Brew Thru, let alone a Daquiri-To-Go.

Zeus · #15 03-13-2003, 04:11 PM

lol...I will definitely make it down there sometime! It sounds like my kind of place...