Someone smart once said to watch how your date treats the server because that is how they will be treating you in 6 months.

Howdy All,
Here is a tip. Anyone that I date better know how to handle a dog leash and fast at getting the dog food ready:D

Jen Tay said:
There are two schools of thought on this one. Both extreme. Once is that it is rude to tell the guy "no dice" after the first date and after you find out dental hygiene was not a priority for him growing up so she ends up not returning the calls. The other side says be honest and just tell him to f*%k off after the first date. In my opinion, since most dates are paid for by the guy, the chick does not want to be viewed as being in it only for the meal even after she has decided that she's not interested. My point is, i may give a guy my number and later change my mind if he calls, or i may give my number and go out once and then change my mind after i find out that the fit is right, or not give my number out at all. Whichever way it goes, the girl as an adult has the right to choose. How this is interpretted by the guy is a different story.

Jen, I don't know you so I can't speak to your "method" but my ego is not so frail that I couldn't take a woman simply stating that while she enjoyed our dinner she realizes/realiized that that chemistry just isn't there. Short, sweet and to the point. And I have said it to a few women myself. There is no need to insult anyone to make your point. Plus it's tactful and honest. Try it sometime.

JenTay said:

the 'truth' is not a clear black and white for men and women. when you are driving on the road with you girlfriend and she asks " are you thirsty, sweetie?"......what do you say?
do you say no i'm not and keep driving ? OR
do you read between the lines and really hear her say "I thirsty, stop the damn car and get me a drink". My point is, there is no absolute right or wrong way. Is the glass half empty or half full?


Or you could just say that you're thirsty, like ALL my men friends do. Is life with women really supposed to be a f**cking Easter egg hunt all the time?
Thanks anyway for a glimpse into the working of the female mind.

Mine wasn't a *****, she was just like all the rest. Had the same thought processes as espoused by Jen. "The moon is blue" means pick up your underwear from behind the door.
To me it's just a matter of how much I am willing to tolerate the bull**** in return for the "quid pro quo".
Who says Latin is a dead language?

You're right. There are no good relationship oriented women here. I'll just have to settle for meaningless sex with leggy women half my age. Excuse while I go cry myself to sleep.

Thanks, Jen Tay!!
 

Hi Jen Tay,

Great thread idea!!

I began dating a woman a bit over a month ago. On our first date, I suggested coffee. She suggested dinner, so that's what we did.

I also told her I'd like to pick her up, but that if she'd rather meet at restaurant, I'd be okay with that. (We hadn't met in person before.) She allowed me to pick her up at her house.

At the end of dinner, I paid the bill. I paid with a check-card and I don't think she saw how much I tipped, but it was the usual 20%. The service was excellent.

Then she did something that I thought was nice: we had decided to walk around a bit and get some ice cream. She offered to pay for dessert, and I accepted.

We've been on several dates in the past few weeks and she's bought me dinner at least two of the times-- just to be nice. I always offer, but if she wants to pay, I'm not going to be a chauvinist and not let her. She wants to make a gift of the dinner, and I think that's nice.

She's a GREAT gal, and I see wonderful things ahead for us!! :)

Re: Thanks, Jen Tay!!
 

omg stefano:eek: :eek: do NOT let that one get away.send many flowers often !!! :D

Of course it's judgmental! That is the purpose of the first date. In a free society, we are all free to choose who we hang out with.

If I choose to not go out with him again because he tips badly. That's my judgment regardless of how poor he is or how poor he once was.

There's enough people in this world for all of us to find mates. It's just a matter of luck and how much one is willing to compromise. Everyone is different. I happen to believe that people do not change that much so the question is...am I willing to stick it out with this guy and try to change his habits (bad tipper, bad table manners, nose picking, whatever). I think most women make the mistake of thinking that they can change people. Well you can't. You can paint a rock but it's still a rock.

I know I sound like a really critical ***** here but I'm really not. I've just seen so many women get into relationships that are barely tolerable for them and live in misery.

very true.
otoh i think a good partner is not one that you necessarily need to see completely eye to eye with on everything.
26 years of marriage (to the same person...) have certainly proved that for me time and time again, lol:)

sure. I own shares of Delhaize myself.

However, I think you are missing my point. I'm not slamming you or your dad or you mom here.

All I'm saying is that I choose to not tolerate a bad tipper. It's just me. If this is a mistake and I miss out on this opportunity to have have 3 great kids, six grandchildren and a stack of money. I will never know. What I do know is that I cannot stand a guy who tips a dollar for a $30 meal and good service. It certainly will not be 47 years of marital bliss for me living with that no matter how high the stack of money is. get my point?

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker
 

To negate all of the above symptomology, apply alcohol in liberal amounts.

On that note, I'd have to agree with you.

good advice

This is really just a thread about a particular petpeeve JenTay thought would be a good idea to address (specifically to single guys). It has nothing do do with judging the moral fiber of one's character based on that single issue.

We all have pet peeves and probably walked away from prospects who would have made great companions. You can't help that. But each of us come to the table armed with notions of what we will and won't tolerate in an individual. That person can put up a front for the evening and maybe wrangle a second date out of that, but the true character (and habits) will eventually show.

For me, I couldn't tolerate smokers, gum-poppers, or women who couldn't speak proper english...like ebonics!

...I dated all of the above and while all of them were decent women in other respects, the anomalies were too great to ignore.

Bad move? Maybe to some. But I married someone who had the qualities I desired WITHOUT the issues I found abhorrent!

So the underlying message here is you will eventually meet your soulmate...but your journey there will be much smoother if you don't sabotage your chances with particularly bad habits...in this case, horribly insufficient tipping!

My $1s worth! ;)