87 300E Won't Start After Emulsified Oil Blew All Over Engine Comp

[VWFringe]

EDIT (Solution Possibly): emulsified oil had gotten into idle stabilizer valve and around air metering flap, once sprayed out the hard start and quick stall problems went away. Oil in coolant hoses may have caused old hoses to begin to fail (not sure, may've just been very old). Emulsified oil had probably clogged the veins in the radiator, exacerbating over-heating (a lot of the mayo drained out of the radiator upon removing the hose from the coolant bubble to the bottom of the radiator).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

87 300E gas engine with blown head gasket leaking oil into coolant...for six months.

I'd been pouring mayo out of reserve tank once a week, but failed to for 3 weeks.

Rad hose to water pump blew a small hole, spraying emulsified oil and coolant all over the engine compartment. Car wouldn't start after that, so it was towed home.

I failed to spot the hole in the hose, and assumed it'd over-heated and blown from coolant bubble...so:
- degreased engine compartment,
- de-carbonized cap & rotor (no oil/coolant in there)
- de-carbon-fouled and gapped plugs,
- de-greased coolant reservoir,
- charged battery
car started easily and repeatedly once all above were done
drove to get gas (still hadn't spotted hole in radiator hose & didn't notice water temp as driving)

smoke/vapor became noticable as I pulled up to gas pump, shut down the engine and took a look, easily noticing the hole in the rad hose now...

cut inch and a half off hose and attempted to re-clamp, but was unable to tighten properly...waited until cool and drove back but 1/2 mile from home temps climbed and hose blew off, spraying brown mayo all over the engine compartment.

drained battery trying to get it to start, brought it home (battery, not the car), charged and tried the next day, lit three times out of twenty but only for seconds
- pulled plugs, they don't look any worse, but insulators are not white around the tops like when i'd put them back
- wiped down inside of air box, and butterfly of intake (small puddle of coolant in airbox)

note: once or twice noticed back-fire and white smoke (prolly coolant) from air intake, but that seems to have cleared itself.

Car won't light for more than a few seconds, and rarely at that...what'my missing? Or is this normal when oil is all over the belts and pulleys, and I just need to degrease them? anything else i need to check, like degreasing the intake mani before it'll light?

i just need to get it home where I can degrease the bay, or take it apart and do the head gasket (was kind of hoping it'd provide transportation to get the triple-square drive bit several cities over)

One other thing while I have your attention: what bolts and washers should I have on hand to substitute for the slide hammer extractor for the timing chain rail pin? (can't afford the special head gasket tools, and won't be having the head re-built or checked)

Gentlemen, Thank you if you read all of that...
Long time lurker and browser, first time I've needed your help directly though...I hope someone's on tonight with the patience of a monk, sorry to be so long winded.

EDIT: radiator hose which blew is the one between the top of the radiator and the top of the water pump. No water pump noise, no leakage from it's weep hole prior to this. Also, no rust around cross-over tube.