You guys where right I was wrong my 108 is dead. - Page 6 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

halman2228 · #76 03-26-2009, 11:00 PM

Yup..

I don't post much 'cuz I don't know much. But, I've bought parts from members here and sent parts gratis - we can be a great community... I have the same feelings about our group.

Sometimes you see skeptical posts/replies from "established" (Nobby is a good example) members that make you wonder why? There ya go...(anybody rememeber "FatTony" & his SEC and his life threatening/saving surgery ?)

I am trying to figure out if/how I can get to ja's PUB and actually bring my Pagoda with me... it would be more than interesting to meet "Nik" if he shows. I'm sure a few of us would have a word or two for him.

Anyway, ejboyd has it right - let this thread fade away

Best regards guys & gals,
Kevin

JeffreyNMemphis · #77 03-27-2009, 03:14 AM

Hey Guys,
I am late arriving at this topic. It took me about an hour and a half to get here. I realize that some of you have been here for weeks. But allow me to keep this thread alive just long enough to save someone’s life.
About halfway here, I was recalling my similar experience of twenty years ago, at the age of 24 when I bought a 1972 280SE 4.5. Like Nik, I had enough money to buy the car and struggled to keep it on the road as a daily driver. After spending the money I earned as a restaurant employee (waiter) month after month, the car developed a bad smoking habit that indicated a major problem and expense was coming. In need of dependable transportation, I made the choice to cut my losses and sell the car. Actually, I really did not have many choices and consequently got back a fraction of what I sunk into “my first Mercedes”.
About ten minutes ago I arrived at the conclusion that Nik is using. I, like you, am surprised, but not shocked. There are other conclusions as well; there are good people in the world from Australia to the Philippines’ to Europe to America that generously extended a hand of friendship to a stranger in trouble. We are lucky (or blessed some might say) to have the resources to care and share our experience and wisdom.
Before you judge Nik too harshly, consider that Nik is probably sick with the disease of addiction and that is why he is taking drugs. He is facing jails, institutions and death as likely outcomes because he can’t stop using. He hurts the ones he loves, like his Grandma. He is suffering from the dis-ease of addiction, a life threatening ill-ness and he thought drugs were the answer or that his 1971 Mercedes was going to make him feel better. Every day he has to avoid reality, pain and misery. Not only is his car broke, but he has to deal with the fear, loneliness, insecurity and shame to name just a few of the feelings that come with using and addiction.
This could be a teachable moment. Who knows?

Nik,
You have this choice if you are an addict. Go on using and receive the consequences as best you can or get the help you need to stop using and find a new way to live. There is a Narcotics Anonymous meeting everyday in Hamilton. You never have to use again if you don’t want to. Click onto this link to get the address of the meeting:
http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
The people at Narcotics Anonymous are recovering addicts that help each other stay clean. You will find the same spirit of caring and generosity that people here have demonstrated. All you have to do is walk through the door and admit your life is broke and that you have a desire to stop using. The desperation that you expressed about your car being broke was honest and we all felt it. We all wanted to help you. The people at NA understand desperation too, and they know what it is like to suffer from addiction. Maybe you are not suffering yet, or have not suffered enough yet, or you think you can handle it, but when you are ready to get help the meeting is there and they are waiting for you to show up.
The people here are disappointed, but they will get over it. We still care and want to help you. If you don’t care about your life or yourself, the luxury of a classic Mercedes Benz is just another drug that you can’t have and we can’t help that. Go to the meeting. Stop using. Get clean. This forum is going to be here to help you if you are helping yourself. Everyone here is on the DYI plan, which means Do-it-Yourself, but we help each other DYI. None of us can do it all alone, we need help to fix what is broke and help is available to those who follow the principles. Someday you could help someone, but you have to stop using first. When you work the steps, you will learn the principles.

meltedpanda · #78 03-27-2009, 09:02 AM

Also well said, many posts ago in this thread I asked Nik to PM me with his numbers, I sensed , as did others, a bigger issue after some of the words he was using. Unfortunately he did not. Several of the members here PMed me with the same concern. I dont know NIK from adam... and I am upset he is a user, but he is sick and needs help. His car is the least of his issues . The issue now is he has not responded here and he may be in real trouble.

JonL · #79 03-27-2009, 10:02 AM

I'm not sure what to think about this. I'm normally a compassionate person, very liberal in my outlook. I don't know a lot about addiction, but what I see here is not someone deeply addicted (yet). The wackos on the opiate forum seemed to feel that way too. What I do see is someone who is simply a selfish child. I found it very hard to understand the guy's attitude, so I read a lot of his posts on various other forums. What I saw was someone who simply hasn't grown up to realize that he is the only one in control of his own destiny. He continually blames others or life in general for his problems. His boss, the car, the clinic, etc. He went looking for drug treatment not because he wants to get clean, but because he wants a cheaper, subsidized high. He is, imo, someone who just wants to take and take and take from others, and take no responsibility himself. If he wanted to get his life in order so he can build a future for himself and his family, I'd be very supportive. But all he wants to do is get drunk, get high, and be a slacker. He claims he wants to be in the music business, but he won't make any sacrifices to get there... sacrifices like buying an inexpensive reliable car, avoiding missing work because he's hungover, avoiding spending $80 for an Oxycodone pill...

I can't feel sorry for this guy, and I won't try to help him because he needs to be willing to help himself first.

JeffreyNMemphis · #80 03-27-2009, 03:06 PM

Addiction is misunderstood. Most recovering addicts, after completing the 12 steps, which greatly enhances self-awareness, would probably say that they were addicts long before ever getting high. And that character defects like selfishnesss, dishonesty, low self-esteem, etc. created most of the problems that someone else was blamed for.

F.E.A.R = F*ck Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Recover.

Nik does not need anyone to feel sorry for him. Getting people to enable him is one of the manipulative arts that Nik is naturally skilled with. Note that Grandma cashed in a bond to fund this car purchase. Purchasing this car was as an addict's need for gratification, not a responsible family man's need for transportation. It was an emotional purchase by someone with mental illness (yes, addiction is a mental illness), who was not capable of being rational and considering the advantages and disadvantages. The over riding concern for an addict is: "I want what I want when I want it", regardless of the consequences.

JonL · #81 03-27-2009, 03:09 PM

Thank you for this post. I will try to be more understanding of other's difficulties.

Nik_the_barber · #82 03-27-2009, 04:49 PM

Well, now that I have been looked upon like a waste of lfe on this forum I guess I will not seek any help from you guys knowing I was here for help with my car and you guys dig through the internet and get involved in my personal life. When all I wanted was some car advice. I'll stop coming here and you guys don't have to hear from me anymore. I'm not a bad person yes I have an addiction but I have been treated and the forum is old.

Tomguy · #83 03-27-2009, 05:55 PM

This whole thread reminds me of watching Judge Judy and outlines the issue with society today.

Situation 1:
Person A makes up his/her mind right or wrong when Person/Group B tells them they're being foolish.
Person A cannot admit when they are in too deep and only dig themselves deeper.

Situation 2:
Person A does something stupid that hurts themselves and/or someone else.
Person/Group B tries to tell them what they did wrong, how to fix it etc.
Person A refuses to accept responsibility for his/her actions.

Many members of our society seem to be unable to take responsibility for their actions, and take the "Victim mentality" and blame everyone except the person responsible: Themselves.

We suggested you not buy the car. You did, you have issues with it. you're not a mechanic and you outright say you refuse to learn - so you have two outcomes: You will either pay someone a fortune to fix it for you or you will sell/scrap the car and take a bath on it financially. Take responsibility, not a victim mentality.

You say you've been treated, but you don't sound as if you've truly recovered. If you did, you would defend yourself, not take a victim mentality and pretend like nobody has stood up for you. I think what JeffreyNMemphis posted was very honorable and respectable. I do not feel sorry for individuals who just don't get it and blame everyone but themselves for their circumstance...

If you want my honest opinion, if you REALLY want to keep this car, learn how to fix it yourself. If that is not an option, sell it now or scrap it. It is not worth what you paid for it, nevermind what it will cost to have a replacement engine put into it.

JeffreyNMemphis · #84 03-27-2009, 10:12 PM

Nik,

Did you read in the above posting about how your other life was discovered? Someone had an engine and was trying to contact you with an offer of help. Nobody wanted to get involved in your “personal life”. We still don’t. We would be volunteering at soup kitchens and homeless shelters if we were looking for sick addicts. Instead, we were here trying to help ourselves to fix our cars. And, we help each other whenever possible.

You took something from each member who took the time to help you, under false pretenses. They willingly gave to you, but Bernie Madoff didn’t use a gun either. If you had said, I am a junky and I want you to fix my car, we could have made a choice whether or not to help you. Instead, you portrayed yourself as a family man with small children who needed help. Now you want to portray yourself as the victim? You hurt the people who were trying to help you. That is why people expressed their disappointment.

Addiction is misunderstood. You should know that addiction has no cure. A diabetic would not take one dose of insulin and say they have been treated. You took a break at a facility at someone else’s expense, and you are calling that treatment?
Addicts are always looking for an easier and softer way. You don’t want to make the hard choices and make the effort to get what you want or need, you want it given to you. Now you are quitting on us?

This forum is anything but old. It is refreshed every day. People here will forgive you if you get honest and help yourself. Take the time to re-read the last few posts. Nobody is trying to hurt you. My comments were written with compassion and good will. I know it is not easy because I was where you are now.

Nik_the_barber · #85 03-27-2009, 11:41 PM

I did not portray myself as a family man. I am a family man with a wife and 2 kids. I bought this car for me and my family. what does my formal addiction have to do with me getting a car? The people saying that I got this car because I'm an addict and just want thing's is out right ridiculous. I bought it for my family and to learn how to work on car. I bought it to do something more productive with my life and give me a hobby to keep my mind occupied and busy. I bought it for a hobby. I'm not a junkie I have had a problem and have been to rehab. It's really unfair of you guys to judge me. I'm not looking for pitty help. I said that a long time ago. I was looking for help to get my car fixed and advice on fixing my car. That is still my goal, and anyone that has given me advice I still really appreciate it and I still would like to buy an engine. I just have not been on here lately because I have been preparing for a vacation, and I needed to take a break from thinking about my car for a moment Since it was something I really enjoyed and now i can't drive it that really upset me and all I'm here for is help with my car not my life. That's what counciling is for and my family. I do not appreciate the people trying to judge me and analyze what I'm doing and why. But if anyone still is willing to help me with my car then great and thank you. I can see why he looked me up to contact me but to post that link has nothing to do with contacting me.

Edit: and just to let you all know since you want to judge, I suffered a pneumothorax and was in the hospital for a couple months after undergoing chest surgery. I was hooked up to a lot of drugs and this is how my addiction begin. I now suffer chronic chest/lung pain to the point where it incapacitates me from even moving, and I don't have any insurance so this is the way I use to cope for day to day normal functioning.

ja17 · #86 03-28-2009, 02:03 AM

Hello Nik,

My offer still stands to help you with your car. Keep looking for a used engine. I will do the same. I think this is a worthwhile endevour. I hope it can turn into a positive experience. Sounds like you could use some sucess in your life.

Anyone who loves these good old German cars can't be too bad!

tonkovich · #87 03-28-2009, 02:16 AM

come on, nik. you have proved that you are not to be believed.

first:

"the forum" is old, and "i have been treated". (the forum is february 2009

second:

"i have ongoing repiratory issues"

so,...which is it?

take it from someone who used to live on vikes and vodka - you are in need of psychological help, detoxing, and maybe real medical assistance, not self medication. opiates do make you feel good, i know that and won't deny it. however, as a way of life, they never work out.

again - get some help.

450slcguy · #88 03-28-2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nik_the_barber

I did not portray myself as a family man. I am a family man with a wife and 2 kids. I bought this car for me and my family. what does my formal addiction have to do with me getting a car? The people saying that I got this car because I'm an addict and just want thing's is out right ridiculous. I bought it for my family and to learn how to work on car. I bought it to do something more productive with my life and give me a hobby to keep my mind occupied and busy. I bought it for a hobby. I'm not a junkie I have had a problem and have been to rehab. It's really unfair of you guys to judge me. I'm not looking for pitty help. I said that a long time ago. I was looking for help to get my car fixed and advice on fixing my car. That is still my goal, and anyone that has given me advice I still really appreciate it and I still would like to buy an engine. I just have not been on here lately because I have been preparing for a vacation, and I needed to take a break from thinking about my car for a moment Since it was something I really enjoyed and now i can't drive it that really upset me and all I'm here for is help with my car not my life. That's what counciling is for and my family. I do not appreciate the people trying to judge me and analyze what I'm doing and why. But if anyone still is willing to help me with my car then great and thank you. I can see why he looked me up to contact me but to post that link has nothing to do with contacting me.

I mostly agree with you Nik. It's nobody's business to search your user name for links to personally discredit you. Then to publicly post them for all to interpret as they see fit is just plain wrong.

Don't let the people here intimidate you. I'm sure many people on this forum have problems that they wouldn't want exposed and exploited on this forum. You've been wronged and deserve an apology from "Thorsen".

I'd would still follow up with "Thorsen" on his offer for the spare engine. After his personal attack, he really owes you one.

ps... If I were you, I'd try and delete all the negatives linked to your ID. Never ever post personal information about yourself on the net. As you've learned, it can come back and haunt you in ways you never thought possible.

Nik_the_barber · #89 03-28-2009, 02:33 PM

Tonko, Shut the **** up. You have no right so just let it go. It's not like I'm not going to pay someone. The fact that I offered my car as colleteral is proof. I have no intentions to rip anyone have. I have been trreated I'm on a special medication now. My point is I don't have to prove myself to you. To everyone else, thank you.