Now for something completely different:

The new Colbert Report, following Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show," is a bit of disappointment. Too much of Colbert, who suddently doesn't seem as brilliant and charming as he did when he was used more sparingly -- more quality time -- on the Daily Show.

Nonetheless, I did catch this one gem on maybe his first show, I forget, and I had it taped, so I was able to transcribe the verbiage.

He had NBC's Stone Phillips on the show, and at the end of that segment, he and Stone did a face off, with competing readings of news headlines. It was great. At the end were these two bits, alliterative poems, I guess, with Colbert doing the first, and Phillips the second. I can only imagine that they're used as voice exercises among thespians.

I post these because they could be real useful in entertaining children, at times when other distractions are not working. A good handful of clean knock-knock jokes are good for this also. I should mention that the word "tattoo" has a meaning I wasn't aware of before. From m-w.com:

1: a rapid rhythmic rapping
2: a call sounded shortly before taps as notice to go to quarters.

Here 'tis:

Amidst the mists and fiercest frosts with barest wrists and stoutest boasts,
he thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees the ghost.

And...

Oh what a to-do to die today at a minute or two to two,
A thing distinctly hard to say but harder still to do,
And they’ll beat a tattoo at twenty to two, a rat-a-tat-tat, a tat-a-tat-too,
And the dragon will come when he hears the drum,
At a minute or two to two today, at a minute or two to two.

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1986 300SDL, 362K
1984 300D, 138K