What would cause the wholesale loss of operation of the following in a 98 E 430:
alarm system
power windows (driver window can be lowered with mechanical key only)
power seats
power roof
directionals
power lock (driver door can be unlocked with mechanical key)
windshield wiper
power rearview
Well... everything power

The directionals are a mystery, too. I mean, they're not power, are they? No blown fuses, I checked them all. I checked the central locking unit next to the battery under the backseat. Looks fine. Help, please.