Plantman.. you're really a noble guy with balls to have the responsibility to take care of your own father in poor health. Good deeds don't go overlooked.

As for your family not wanting to help you, but instead wanting to use your father for their financial advantage..... screw them. I've seen and also have heard of similar situations... and unfortunately its not as uncommon as one might think. I've seen similar behaviors at a wealthy jewish nursing home where I sometimes volunteer.. where the residents complain about how their own children are trying to screw them.

If you're brothers/sisters are not willing to sacrifice for their own blood relative(especially their own father).. why should they get any financial tax break?