1) My family sucks too- to the tune of a $xxk inheritance due my mother... Its a huge story and it stinks all the way around, but IMHO Plantman, your family is normal for 2006. (Some good sibilings, some bad, some that are ok...)

2) It kills me when I hear an older person (uncle, aunt, grandparent...) say "I'd do this or cut off this but I dont want to risk not being able to see my niece/nephew/grandchild.
It kills me - the errant parent(s) give no damn about what the others think , I dont think it occurs to them that they are using their children against someone else. In divorce, no one would ever admit to using a child against someone ("no, I wouldnt do that to my kids...") but in Aged parents/IneedFreeDayCare/IneedaTaxWriteoff, Kids are "used" all the time.

Temper my post with this:
I used to want to slap a grandparent who said, "I dont wanna piss off my daughter in law, she might not bring her kids over"...
Until I heard the story of another grandparent, who said 'I'm not helping my son anymore' and by extension sad 'I dont care what happens to my grandchild...' My heart has changed, I see the need for compassion...but both situations still suck.

I Hope you can see your way in Peace Dude, Your good deeds and work are worth the effort.

-John

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2009 Kia Sedona
2009 Honda Odyssey EX-L
12006 Jetta Pumpe Duse
(insert Mercedes here)

Husband, Father, sometimes friend =)