basically you want to attach black to pin 1, red to pin 16, and the other one to:

pin 3 - emissions
pin 6 - air bag (SRS)
pin 8 - ECU
pin 14 - electronic accelerator, cruise control, idle speed control

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Daily Driver: 02 E430 4MATIC
In the family: '03 E500 // '04 ML500 // 64 220SE