There was a farmer who had two sons. He wanted to make sure they could make the most with what they had. So he gave each one of them a duck, and told them to go to town and get whatever they could for it.

The older son went to town first. He took his duck to a Chinese restaurant and sold it for ten dollars. He went home and told his father what he did. The farmer said, "You did good son."

The younger son went to town. He took his duck to a prostitute. After they did the deed, the prostitute said, "That was pretty good. If you do it with me again, I'll give you your duck back." They did it again. A while later, the younger son was carrying the duck under his arm when it got loose and ran into the street. A truck ran it over. The truck driver was mortified. He offered $50 to the man if he would keep quiet about the incident. The farmer's son agreed.

When he got home, the farmer asked, "How did you do?"

The son replied, "I got a f--k for a duck, a duck for a f--k, and fifty dollars for a f--ked up duck."

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Whoever said there's nothing more expensive than a cheap Mercedes never had a cheap Jaguar.

83 300D Turbo with manual conversion, early W126 vented front rotors and H4 headlights 401,xxx miles
08 Suzuki GSX-R600 M4 Slip-on 26,xxx miles
88 Jaguar XJS V12 94,xxx miles. Work in progress.
99 Mazda Miata 183,xxx miles.