A:USE CRAPPY TOOLS THAT'S HOW!

Everything was running smoothly, cruising along smelling like onion rings and tempura 1 week into having my car converted to run on WVO with a Frybrid sytem, and all of a sudden, my 2 week old battery from AZ died.

Back to AZ to have them check the starting and charging system. Find out that the alternator, like my wife, ain't puttin' out.

Back home and order new 70 Amp reman Bosch for $165.
Wait a week for it to arrive--comes Thursday.

Friday

Get home from work
Change clothes, eat dinner, then out to replace alternator.

Car up on ramps--no problem
Disconnect battery and remove--no problem
Belt tensioner and belt removal-- no problem

Top bolt alternator--14mm socket too small--don't see a Craftsman 15mm in tool drawer--I figure socket set I bought must have only gone up to 14mm

Rummage around box wrenches--AHAA!--15mm--my luck is good!
Take over to car, it's a little loose on bolt head, but it grips and turns, and out comes bolt.

Bottom bolt alternator--HUGE PROBLEM

15mm box wrench way too big--14mm box wrench too small--WTF?
Proceed with crescent wrench--waste of time as always--keeps slipping/rounding bolt head.

Go for can of PB--Empty
Get in car and beat feetto get to Ace before they close--out on shelf.

Now it's too late for Wally World or Home Cheapo they'll be closed by the time I could get there--now really pissed.

Go home and bang on bolt head(with small 5lb sledgehammer not head) and try crescent wrench again--more rounding, more slipping.

Getting dark--call it a night.

Saturday

Up at 7AM and off to Wally World for a propane torch and PB.
Get back and run torch 25 minutes and use vise grips--no movement--pretty vise grip teeth marks left in bolt head however.

Next up--Power PLaster
Soaked in PB AND I MEAN SOAKED! for about an hour.

Brought back 5lb sledgehammer and knocked the hell out of the headbolt and receiving end of alternator bracket. Put vise grips back on to what little was left to grab onto and 15 minutes and five arm cramps later it finally broke free.

Great, now all I have to do is to remove the pulley and put it on the new alternator and I'm in business right? You guessed it, the S.O.B wasn't coming off for anything.

Take alternator, jump in truck and race like hell to the Chevy dealer who's closing in 5 minutes and see if someone can break it free with an impact wrench.

Get to dealership and last mechanic is putting down overhead door--slide under as door is closing and explain plight--guy has pity on me and takes alternator to his work area. Breaks it free in 10 seconds.

I ask how much and he says nothing--I flip him $5 and tell him to have a beer on me, but that I'm telling everyone I loosened it for him.

Back in truck, off to NAPA to get two new bolts for alternator. $3 and 10 minutes later I'm back at home with maybe 15 minutes work left.(HA!)



FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER I FINALLY GET THE BOLTS TO CATCH!

Belt lined up, tensioner back together, alternator plugged in, battery installed and hooked up, start it up and off ramps.

Start to put tools away and as I'm putting away sockets, I notice a 15mm socket staring back at me from the back of the drawer. What possessed me to take that socket and put it on the head of the original alternator top bolt that was lying on the garage floor, I'll never know, but I did, and you guessed it, a perfect fit!

I went to the tool drawer with the box wrenches and grabbed the 15mm and examined it, only to see the word CHINA stamped on the back!

Come to find out my Craftsman box wrench set only went up to 14mm and at some point in my youth I had acquired a cheap metric box wrench set that went up to 24mm. Apparently I must have thought when I got the Craftsman wrenches it would be a good idea to throw the larger cheapo wrenches into the tool drawer to "cover" the wrench sizes I didn't have in the Craftsman line.

Well today, I threw them in a different direction.

13 wasted hours, a new propane torch, 2 new alternator bolts and a can of PB--all thanks to a cheap 15mm box wrench which wasn't 15mm.

A word of unsolicited advice to anyone who learns vicariously from the mistakes of others:

BUY AND KEEP ONLY QUALITY TOOLS--THROW EVERYTHING ELSE OUT!

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1986 300SDL
1988 Monte Carlo SS
2002 Avalanche
2003 100th Anniversary H-D Dyna Wide Glide