I live on a one way dead end street.

A cop pulled me over. He asked me why I was going so fast. I told him "there's this pedal down there . . ."

I met the most beautiful blue eyed chinese girl on the bus . . .

If you had everything, where would you put it?

You know that feeling, when you lean a chair back till you get it just balanced on the two back legs? I'm like that all the time.

I walked my dog all at once. We walked from Boston to Miami and back. When we got back to Boston, I told him "there, we're done."