"He's real cheap. He has low pockets and short arms."

"Anybody can borrow his lawn mower. It has a coin slot on it."

"She was injured recently over in England. She got hurt sliding down a barrister." (-- Dorothy Parker, about an acquaintance with notoriously loose morals)

"If there is a Hell, I will most certainly end up having tea and crumpets with Beelzebub in my cute little wicker basket."

(About a sleazy hooker) "Here comes our local sales rep for Spirochetes ‘R’ Us."

"She was so fat the travel agent told her it would be easier to bring Europe to her."

"If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"He got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
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__________________
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-- Paul W. (The Benzadmiral)
('03 Buick Park Avenue, charcoal/cream)
Formerly:
'97 C230, smoke silver/parchment; '86 420SEL, anthracite/light grey; '84 280CE (W123), dark blue/palomino