Gov toasters would be perfectly safe and produce a perfectly toasted slice of bread every week, even if you didn't want it. Every design spec would be perfectly documented and standardized and about 20 years behind private enterprise. Gov would tax people 3.7 times the value of the toaster to make sure that every commercial toaster met minimum safety and performance standards. The gov would create a non-partisan, quasi-governmental panel composed of people from all walks of life, at least half of whom know nothing of bread or toasters. Some would be actively hostile to toasters and bread. This panel would be responsible for recommending tosater regulation.

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