Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother in law backing off a cliff in your new car

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how Scottish practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of sheep that kick

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it

Q. What is a yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

Q. What do tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud

Q. How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
A. Kick his sister in the jaw

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 45 pounds

Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A. 45 minutes

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact
A. Breasts don't have eyes

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow

Q. What is the difference between medium and rare?
A. Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare

Q. Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)