"I've spent a lot of time this weekend thinking of a reason to keep you here, and I really can't come up with one other than the fact that I like you personally.

You are constanly late and joke about it, you do things incorrectly when you actually do them.

I think that if you cannot get on board with what I want you to do here, and embrace this job with the same amount of dedication you have for your "hobby", I think it's best we part ways.

Life is too short for me to continally keep getting upset about what you do or don't do when it's apparent that you don't give a crap"

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Enough about me, how are you doing?