Originally Posted by WVOtoGO

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was
at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 5 about the gang war going on down on W.34th Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a news helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life! [/I]