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Jim B. · #1 07-03-2007, 02:58 AM

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term :

The answer given by one student was so "profound" that one Professor shared it with colleagues

Bonus question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variants

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think it is safe to assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls will go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate in the change in the volume of Hell because Boyle's law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls are entering Hell, then the temperature and pressure will expand until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then
the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa in my freshman year, that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct.....Leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh, my God"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+