I think there are some things that we can all do to help reduce our carbon footprint. Here are some things that I've adopted; and I urge you all to do the same:

1. I am increasing my use of ethanol derived from grape mass and various cereals and grains.

2. I now open all canned sodas (and cans of beer, which is seldom as I prefer bottles or draft) much slower so as to decrease the rate of CO2 emmisions.

3. I'm eating more and excercising less. This is a double CO2 whammy; less excercise means less exhalation thus less atmospheric CO2 pollution. Heavier people are composed of more carbon thus a greater sequestering of the nasty stuff (there's your reason for St. ALGORE's weight gain).

4. In keeping with point #3 I'm consuming moor farm animals (wild ones too), thus reducing their carbon emissions.

5. I'm lobbying Greens to put their money where their mouth is (ironic, isn't it)and halt their carbon emissions. Those who succesfully complete this process can then be turned into biofuels. We could call it "Soylent Crude" (it works on so many levels...)

6. I'm petitioning my Congressman and Senators to reduce the law of gravity so that less energy will be needed to move the same mass, thus saving energy and thus less evil carbon released.

7. Finally, I'm on track with my own carbon reduction plan. By the year 2150 I will equal my 1900 carbon usage.

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-livin' in the terminally flippant zone