Okay, the car is 2 days old? Reminds me of buyin 1980 SD in Sept. Kicked like a mule in between shifts until I got used to feathering the pedal after couple of weeks. It always holds gears waay high into rpm's over 4,000 and starts out in 1st. But can control shifts myself using hammer down then release on accelerator pedal. Must always anticipate every shift ye make.
It's got no bowden cable but long steel rod from accel linkage on valve cover, correct? From what I'm seeing, characteristics of primitive German 4 speed automatic especially combined with diesel engine is hard shifts that work driver's to death.
Thought I'd hate the automatic after 4 yrs with stickshift 240D, but am now loving the hard shift 4-spd auto trans because it requires tremendous skill to operate. Far cry from typical brain-dead slush box auto transmission. You'll also find "S" and "D" very useful for manual shifting between 3rd and 4th. Generally I drive in S below 55-60mph. And frequently drop from D into S for climbing hills even at 65. According to speedometer marks 3rd tops out at 75. And the primitive automatic always takes lower gears up around their speedo marks before grabbing the next gear.
I've seen all of the symptoms you describe, Alfa. Even consulted with mechanic to soften adjustments for smoother shifts. His advice was leave it alone, you want it shifting hard and NOT flaring in between shifts.
Finally 194k miles is NOTHING. Mine had 260k when i bought it. Am thinkin about cyl head and valve work between 280 and 320k, expecting engine to reach 480k well maintained. Consider replacing time chain at about 220k and measure timing chain stretch next time you adjust valves. Timing the Injector Pump compensates for 4-6* degrees stretch. Being a diesel it will tolerate up to 10* stretch though most people replace chains at 8.
Going from Alfa Romeo to MB diesel, huh?? Yer in for culture shock like you wouldnt believe. Zero gasoline logic applies to diesels and no 2 vehicles could be further apart.