PJ O Rourke is funny, I will read anything I can get my hands on by him.

Parliament of Whores and that piece about comparing the biggest gas guzzlers you could buy, done in Automobile magazine, were fall on the floor funny - and true.

It was one of the funniest articles I have ever read:

"Die Eco Weenies" from Automobile Magazine, 12-1994:

Herewith a few quotes out of that one:


"If the Chevy Suburban's 13 mpg EPA city driving figure leaves us at the mercy of people who wear picnic tablecloths on their heads, then what's the US Army for? Excuse me, I forgot. The purpose of the Army is to invade Haiti"

"The green dweebs want a world where individuals don't count for much - where all the important decisions - such as whether to shift the Viper into fifth - ar made in Washington. They want a world controlled by the political process.

That's because the scrub cuddlers are, as individuals, so insignificant.

They are losers, the three-bong-hit saviors of the earth, Lava lamp Luddites, global warming dolts, ozone boneheads, peace creeps, tofu twinks, Birkenstock buttinskis, and bed-wetting vegetarian bicyclists who bother whales on weekends.

They have no money, sense, or skills. But they can make their mark on politics because the whole idea of politics is to achieve power without posessing merit.

Let's run them over with the Chevrolet Suburban. Let's crush one of those electric vehicles the enviro-pests are always building and spill D batteries all over the highway. Let's blast through a crafts fair (the Suburban has 210 bhp and it won't get snagged in any macrame) and drive into the middle of one of those men's liberation inner-warrior weekends and chase flabby guys in loincloths into the woods."

Closing paragraph:

"We're told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground for millions of years. We're told cars should be replaced with mass transportation. But it's hard to reach the drive through window at McDonald's from a speeding train.

And we're told cars cause pollution. And a hundred years ago the city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or of typhoid fever at nine?
Cars have made us richer, freer, happier people. Life is better because of cars. Cars are good.

If you don't think so, try making out in a country lane on Roller Blades, you eco-weenie."

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)